


Funhouse Mirror

by FlagofHeaven



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bisexual Dean Winchester, Canon-Typical Violence, Dean in Denial, Destiel - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, Evil Sam, F/M, Falling In Love, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Professor Dean, Smut, but he overpowers it, canon typical angst, eventual destiel, i'm sorry it takes 9 chapters for smut to happen, lots of feelings, sometime after s11
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-04
Updated: 2016-10-22
Packaged: 2018-08-19 10:52:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 30,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8202976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlagofHeaven/pseuds/FlagofHeaven
Summary: What would have happened if the 1982 fire in Lawrence killed John instead of Mary?   Sam, Dean and Cas are enjoying a night off when Gabriel appears and sends them to another world. A world where John died instead of Mary, Dean is an openly bisexual engineering professor, and Sam has fallen off the radar along with his girlfriend, Ruby. As the trio try to get back to their world, they encounter wacky alternate versions of friends and family -- some who want to help, some who want to kill them.





	1. Couch Space

"Dean, please move you feet so more than one person can sit on the couch." Castiel glared down at the human who reluctantly swung his feet off the couch so Cas could sit and watch the movie with them. 

Dean patted the couch jokingly, "Your throne awaits Your Highness."

Castiel rolled his eyes but said nothing. Dean acted like there was barely enough room for both of them while simultaneously trying to inch closer to Cas. 

"Dude give me some space," Dean said grumpily. 

"If you're so uncomfortable with physical contact, then why don't you move your arm instead of slinging it over the back of the couch against my shoulders?" Cas asked drily. 

Sam glanced over at them, laughing quietly. When were those two gonna stop pretending ... Sam was no longer sure if they were pretending they weren't together or if they were pretending they didn't realize they weren't in love with each other. He took out his phone and typed a brief message. 

SAM: the two idiots are bickering over couch space.

EILEEN: kissed yet?

SAM: not in front of me at least, I think they're still in denial. Or Dean is.

EILEEN: probably.

"What are you smiling at Sam?" Dean called. "You texting a girl or something?"

"Actually, yes I am." 

Dean looked surprised. "Who? Where did you -?"

Sam didn't answer. He had been texting with Eileen for a few months and had even joined her on a hunt a few weeks ago. They had natural chemistry and he really enjoyed spending time with her. She was an amazing and talented hunter and Sam admired her greatly. She was even teaching him more ASL to make their communication easier. Their text conversations ranged from trading hunting tips to their personal stories to Sam filling her in on what he called the Most Epic Eye Contact Pining story of Dean and Cas. 

"Sammy, how'd you find time to meet a girl?" Dean asked, jogging Sam out of his thoughts. 

"It's Eileen, the hunter who helped us with the banshee case," Sam said finally. "It's nice, you know, we have a lot in common." He looked over at his brother and Cas, and added nonchalantly, "It's nice to have someone to talk to who knows the life, who I can be myself with and not have to worry about endangering her or slipping up and accidentally mentioning monsters."

"Yeah yeah, alright Romeo." 

Sam shook his head and went to refill the popcorn and beers. "Eat me, Dean."

Dean scoffed at his brother but internally he knew the message was meant for him. He turned back to movie, but his eyes kept darting back towards Cas. Sam was right, it would be nice to be with someone who already understood the hunter life. Who he didn't worry would freak out at him or think he was crazy or get hurt because of his life. And Cas...Cas had always just been there. He'd become family, he'd become something more than just their guardian angel. And though Dean knew Sam also loved the angel as a brother, it didn't take a genius to see that his relationship with Dean was just different. More than once Dean had laid awake late at night fantasizing about what it would be like to kiss the angel, to run his hands over Cas's body --. But Cas was still an angel and Dean had no idea if he felt the same way. On top of all that, Dean had spent his life denying that he found men attractive, John had made it clear what Men were and Men didn't like other men. Right? The one time John had even suspected Dean had hooked up with a guy in high school.... Dean pushed the painful memory aside. 

But even without all that, even if Cas were interested, even if he could let himself as the he was in love with his best friend ...he just couldn't bring himself to think he was worthy of such a being as Cas. They'd been through a lot and they were brothers in arms, but Dean wasn't exactly relationship material. He was ... "broken" didn't even begin to cover it. It had been years since he'd even tried to be in a relationship, and to try to be Cas's boyfriend -- he didn't think he could. He loved their friendship too much to risk screwing it all up, and he knew nothing about relationships, having royally screwed up the last one he was in. He'd probably just end up hurting Cas, and Dean would never forgive himself for that.

"Dean," Cas broke the silence. "Do you want that?"

"What? Huh?"

"Do you want the type of relationship Sam was talking about? With a hunter?"

Dean felt his pulse quicken. He looked over at Cas who was watching him curiously. "Uh, I dunno man. It's kinda hard, you know, with the life we lead. Besides, I ain't exactly relationship material."

Cas frowned at him. "You really think that?"

Dean shifted uncomfortably. He smiled humorless at Cas, trying to hide the whirlwind of doubts going through his head. "Yeah, I mean, I just.... I've never had a relationship -- well, that's not true, but it ended with me asking you to erase her memories, so not really a success if you ask me." 

"Perhaps if you had a relationship with someone who was a...a hunter? Perhaps you wouldn't need to protect that person from --"

"Cas, you tryin' to set me up with someone?"

Castiel shifted, not looking at Dean. "What, uh, no, I was ..." He was flustered and Dean couldn't help notice how cute the angel looked. "I was just suggesting, that maybe if there was someone you felt, um, that way about, who was a hunter and you could share --. Never mind." 

Dean watched Cas, thinking there was more than he was saying. Neither of them was always the most forthcoming. But for some reason -- maybe it was the beer, maybe it was Sam's new thing with Eileen -- Dean didn't want to dodge and avoid this conversation tonight. Not this time. 

"Cas?"

"Yes?" Cas kept himself from making eye contact. 

"Is there more? Is there something else you wanted to tell me?"

Cas looked up, his expression guarded. "I don't know," he said eventually. 

Dean moved a little closer on the couch. "You can tell me, ok? You're ... I'm... You can tell me," he repeated softly. 

Cas reached over, lightly placing his hand over Dean's. Dean felt his pulse quicken at the contact and turned his hand over so he could entwine their fingers. He didn't know what to say, he didn't even know what he could say. He squeezed Cas's hand, hoping he could pour the emotions and thoughts swirling through his head into that simple handhold. 

"Dean?"

"Cas, I don't know what to say," he said gently. "I don't know what you want me to say."

Castiel was silent for a long moment. "I ... I think I want what Sam described," he said at last. 

Dean nodded. He did understand, and he wondered if Cas meant...

"I wouldn't be any good at it, Cas," Dean said quietly. It killed him to say it, but he needed to tell Cas; he needed the angel to understand how useless he would be -- 

"We're out of beer," Sam walked back in, oblivious to what he'd interrupted. 

Dean and Cas jumped apart, releasing their hands. Dean glanced over at him, missing the feel of Cas's hand. From the look on Cas's face, he was thinking the same thing. 

"Right, beer, yeah," Dean tried to force his brain back to present. "Sucks, too bad."

Castiel looked down at his lap. "Yeah, it sucks."

His tone killed Dean, Cas's voice punched a hole in his heart. Dean wanted so badly to reach back over to Cas, to explain it wasn't the angel's fault, it was his own stupid self-loathing nonsense. 

"Cas -" Dean said, totally unsure where he was going with this. 

"So, this is gonna be hella awkward," said a familiar voice behind them.

Sam jumped, Dean and Cas whipped around to see the man standing in the bunker. He grinned at them. 

"Gabriel!" Sam explained. 

"Hiya Sammy," Gabriel greeted, smirking. 

"Only I get to call him that," Dean grumbled. 

"What are you doing here, brother?" Castiel asked. 

"Well, I got this whole new gig going on, helping out in Heaven. And we got a cool foolproof plan to box Luci, and we're also pretty sure he's gonna come gunning for you. You know, you three kinda pissed him off a few times. And also we can't have you two chuckleheads get involved or go self-sacrificing yourselves, like you do. Anywhoooo, we decided we gotta cloister you two away somewhere safe. You know, where you can't get in the way, or interfere with our plan."

"Brother, if you are fighting Lucifer, then I should go with you." 

"Yeahhhhhh, not gonna happen Cassie. As long as you're playing second fiddle to these two," he looked between Cas and Dean, "or playing anyone's fiddle," he continued, winking, "we gotta send you with them. Sorry bro, majority rules." 

"Gabriel, don't do this. We can help --"

"No can do, Sammy. Sorry. But if it's any consolation, I think you might even enjoy your vacation spot. Might even learn something." He winked at them, grinning. 

Dean made to lunge at Gabriel, but he was too slow. The angel snapped his fingers and the world around them changed.


	2. Doppelgängland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team Free Will tries to figure out where they are and how to get home. Dean has some canon typical angsty-Dean-moments, because classic.

The ground beneath them was soft, and by the smell of it, Sam could tell they were outside somewhere before his vision cleared. He rubbed his eyes and sat up. He could see Dean and Cas on the ground a few feet away. They were in a forest somewhere, and looking around there didn't seem to be a road or buildings. Sam pushed himself up and stumbled over to the others. 

"Dean, Cas, guys wake up." 

They groaned and sat up. 

"Ughhh, where the hell did that dick send us?" Dean asked. "Oh, sorry Cas, I know he's your brother and all."

Castiel stood up, offering a hand to Dean to pull him to his feet. "It's alright. I too find myself frustrated with Gabriel's actions." 

"Where the hell are we?" Dean asked, looking around. 

Castiel closed his eyes and focused, letting his grace work. "That is weird," he said without explaining. He started walking away.

"Cas?" Sam called, going after him. "Cas, what's weird?"

"Cas! Slow down," Dean added, following his brother. 

Cas kept walking. "We're still in the same place," he said. "We haven't gone anywhere, we're just above ground from the bunker." 

"Why would Gabriel send us up here?" Sam mused. 

Castiel shrugged. He kept walking, and slowly Sam started to recognize their surroundings. They were about half a mile north of the bunker, and up ahead they would come to the clearing where the boys held hunter funerals. Sam didn't like being here, but it was the fastest way to get home. 

The trio walked in silence to the entrance of the bunker. 

"I thought Gabriel was sending us somewhere," Sam commented. "Why would he just send us outside?"

Castiel reached out and touched the door of the bunker, eyes closed. "Something is wrong," he said. "This isn't... It isn't right, it isn't our bunker." 

"What do you mean?"

Castiel shook his head. "I don't know. It's like it is the bunker but it isn't. It just feels off."

"Like bizarro earth or something?" Dean asked. He pulled the key out of his jacket pocket. "Let's hope this still works." He inserted the key, but noticed immediately the additional keypad he had installed was missing. "That's weird." He pushed the door open, but it stuck, like it had not been opened in years. He shoved harder, eventually pushing it open. "Also weird," he said. "Let's get back inside and regroup. If the angels are going after Lucifer I wanna know more." 

The lights in the Bunker were off. Dean knew the layout well enough to go down the stairs and flip the main power switch on. He jumped at the site before him.

"Dude, what the hell?"

"I don't know," Sam said, his eyes scanning the bunker. 

It was the bunker, but it looked like it had the first time they'd arrived: empty chairs scattered around, an incomplete chess game on the table, cobwebs and a thick layer of dust on every surface. Dean and Sam drew their guns, advancing slowly into the room. Castiel gripped his angel blade tightly, following them.

"Seriously, what the hell?" Dean asked again. 

"I don't know," Sam replied, leading the way down the hall towards their bedrooms. They didn't hear anyone else or see signs of life, but he kept his gun drawn. "Cas? Any ideas?"

"Unfortunately none of my ideas make much sense." Castiel tried to sense anything that could explain what was happening. 

Sam carefully pushed open his bedroom door. The room was untouched -- none of Sam's stuff was there and the room looked abandoned. They checked Dean's room and then Cas's. Also empty, with no sign anyone had recently lived there. 

"This is freaky," Dean said, lowering his gun. "Where is all our stuff? This place looks like it hasn't been lived in, well since the Men of Letters were here." 

An idea struck Sam. "Cas, could Gabriel have sent us back in time? Is it possible he sent us back to before Dean and I got the key to this place?"

Castiel considered. "It would be a safe way to stash us out of his way. Perhaps he assumed maybe we would just settle in here until the angels do what they want and in the meantime the you and Dean from this time aren't even here yet. It could be... But something else is wrong... It doesn't feel like the past."

"What do you mean it doesn't feel like the past?" Dean asked. 

"It's hard to explain," Cas said. "It's about the vibrations of energy in the air. I don't know how to explain it... But it's just wrong somehow."

"Ok, you work on that. Meantime, can we check Sam's theory?" Dean said. "We need to find out the year." 

"We'll have to go into the town," Sam said. "It's not like this place has computers we can check."

Dean nodded, headed towards the garage. "Field trip it is." 

***

They hot wired one of the cars in the Men of Letters garage. Dean grumbled about not having Baby, Sam pointed out that those bigger concern was drawing attention to themselves in the vintage car they were borrowing from the bunker. Castiel missed his wings.

They pulled into a Lebanon gas station, and Dean went to buy a paper. 

_June 3, 2016._

Dean did a double take, and finally tossed the paper at Sam. "Ok, it got weirder."

"This is today, but how can it be today?" Sam asked. "Where are we? Why does the bunker look abandoned?"

"Perhaps Gabriel didn't send us to a different time," Castiel said. "Maybe he sent us to a different version of our world. Like that time Balthazar and I sent you away to throw off Raphael." 

Dean and Sam shared a look. "Well let's hope we're not actors here," Dean said. "That was worse than Hell. And I should know." 

"In that universe there were no supernatural things, no magic, no monsters," Sam said. "So why would there be a Bunker? There wouldn't really be a Men of Letters if there wasn't anything for them to chronicle."

"A good point," Castiel said. "I suggest we do further research."

"Lebanon has a library, we can so some internet searches," Sam suggested. 

Dean nodded, glad they had a plan finally. Or at least a starting point. He pulled out of the gas station and headed for the library. Castiel spent the short car ride scanning the paper for any other clues. 

The library research trip taught them some important information. First, it was in fact not their world, but very similar. Castiel couldn't really explain alternate worlds to them and they gave up on understanding the idea and just went with it. Second, this world absolutely had monsters -- Sam found dozens of cases of supernatural occurrences in the news. Third, and most interesting, there was a Sam and Dean Winchester who, judging by the photos on the social media platforms, were two perfectly normal guys. 

"I found us!" Sam said, motioning to the screen. Dean and Cas looked over his shoulder. "Apparently I'm a lawyer in SoCal and Dean is an engineering professor at MIT in Boston."

"MIT?" Dean clarified. Sam nodded. "Well, that was unexpected."

"Why?" Castiel asked. 

Dean felt uncomfortable for some reason. "Uh, I dunno. I just... I'm not exactly professor material, or well, engineering I mean --" 

"I've seen you exhibit unparalleled skills with machines and innovation in inventions, why are you so surprised?"

"That's weapons and traps and cars, I mean it's not the same --"

"Perhaps in this world you were able to live a peaceful life that didn't require you to use those skills to survive, but rather had a chance to develop them in a different way."

"Dean, you built your first EMF reader out of a Walkman," Sam said. "Cas is right, it makes sense." 

"Yeah, yeah, ok. Enough about me. What else did you find, Sammy?" 

Sam nodded. "Yeah, I ran one other search ...just to see... Uh, I don't know how to say this." He pulled up a different window. "I was curious, you know, how did Dean and I not become hunters, maybe there was no demons or maybe... But there was a fire at our house in Lawrence on November 2, 1982. It's just...it didn't go down the same way. I think this is just our world, but with one big difference."

_House fire, kills one_

_Beloved father died in house fire_

_Farewell to local leader John Winchester_

"There was a fire," Dean said slowly, willing himself to believe as he said it. "But mom survived. And dad died."

"And that altered the course of your futures," Castiel said. 

"It makes sense," Sam said. 

"How does this make sense?" Dean said, his voice starting to rise. "So what, Dad died and Mom didn't hit the road to track down Yellow Eyes?" 

Castiel laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. "More likely your mother was able to hunt him down quickly. She was a hunter, whereas your father only discovered the existence of demons and other monsters as a result of Mary's death." 

Sam nodded. "Makes sense, Dean."

No, something wasn't right. Dean couldn't place it, but they were missing something. "So that's it, Dad dies and we grow up to be ...what? Normal?" 

"What's the problem with that?" Sam asked, his own voice on edge. "Dean, we have the lives we were supposed to have! Mom never wanted us to be hunters, she wanted us out from the life she grew up in. And we got that here."

"And? So what, it's Dad's fault we grew up this ...screwed up?" 

Sam looked desperately at Cas and then back at Dean. "Yes!" 

"Sam -"

"No, seriously Dean. He raised us as soldiers. He raised us to fight his war. He wasn't a real dad to us, why are you so bent on defending him?"

"He did the best he could --"

"His best was not good enough!"

"Shhh," the librarian shushed them.

"I need a drink," Dean said. He stalked out of the library. Cas and Sam headed after him. 

A hour later they were sitting in a local bar, Sam had nicked an iPad from the library ("rebel", Dean said proudly) and they were pouring through more news and history. Despite what he had said, Dean was not drinking much, at least by Dean-standards. 

Sam was busy doing practical things -- double checking their phones would still work, reading up on specific events, trying to see what had happened in this world compared to theirs. 

"You know, we could just stay put," he said eventually, "Gabe said he was just putting us here temporarily." 

"You're assuming they'll be successful," Dean said. "That they'll box Lucifer and then bring us back. What if this was just a way to ditch us permanently? Stop us from ruining their plans?"

Sam shrugged. "If you got a better idea --"

"Yeah, I wanna track down us and Mom and find out what the hell happened. And see if they can help us." Dean stood up and headed to the restrooms, leaving Sam and Cas alone. 

"Sam?" Cas said tentatively. "Are you ok? You seem to be taking this better than Dean." 

Sam shrugged. "Yeah, I guess I didn't ... Dean gets weird when it comes to Dad. I mean, I know the guy wasn't perfect and I also know he wasn't evil. But, he was never...."

"A father?" Cas supplied. 

Sam nodded. "Yeah, not the way he should have been. And I got out, you know, I experienced hunter-free life when I went to college and saw what my life could have been if mom hadn't died, but Dean never got that. He never saw that future. And even after everything Dad did to him, I don't know how much he's told you --"

Castiel's eyes darkened. "I rebuilt your brother entirely after raising him from perdition. I know exactly what John Winchester did to him. And what others did." 

"Well, Dean is just ... I don't think he realizes --" Sam stopped abruptly as Dean returned to the table. 

"I'm back so you can stop talking about me now," he said, sitting down. 

Sam and Cas exchanged a look. 

"What? Like I don't know you two worry about me and commiserate about it when I'm not in the room?" Dean took a swig of his beer. "Ok Sammy, back to research mode. Where are we at? Like literally where are we and how soon can I go knock on our doors?"

"Actually you're in luck. It looks like Sam, uh, Sam-two is visiting Dean-two this week. According to Facebook - Sam checked in at a hotel nearby. If we can get ourselves to Boston, we can see them both." 

"Cas, you coming along for this ride or you wanna find yourself?" Dean asked. 

"No, I'll come with you. My other self would be in Heaven, and I have no need to chat with him." 

"Heaven?" Dean asked. 

"Obviously."

"You wanna say more?" 

"Well, if Mary Winchester did in fact kill the demon who murdered your father then he never kidnapped Sam, who was never killed, Dean never sold his soul to save Sam, which means he never went to Hell, so I was never sent to get him out, so I never needed a vessel --"

"Yeah yeah, we got it Cas."

"Huh," Sam said. "It's weird to think, but we don't know you here. We've probably never met. We're not --"

"Friends?" Cas interrupted. "You're probably correct Sam." His face fell. "That is an unpleasant thought. The two of you have had a major impact on my life, it's strange to think I didn't have the opportunity to learn from you here. Never got to ..." He stopped talking. Dean looked over at him, but Cas was fiddling with his beer bottle label and not looking at them. 

Sam looked back and forth between them. Apparently these two idiots still weren't together. Sam glanced back at Dean-two's Facebook page -- pictures of a wedding, his brother smiling like a happy adorable idiot, their mother looking so proud of her son. Suddenly going to Boston didn't seem like such a bad idea. 

"So, what's the plan?" Sam asked.

"We have to find us," Dean said. "Who else is gonna know how to send us back?"

"Alright, let's go to Boston." 

They stole a more modern car (the 1950s beauty they borrowed from the bunker wasn't going to make the drive), bought some snacks and hit the road. It was like old days -- driving across the country with nothing but the open road, Dean and Sam fighting over the music, and taking turns sleeping in the back seat. Castiel seemed oddly excited to be on the roads trip with them, he and Sam kept swapping stories and urban legends about places they drove through. 

"You two are like a True Crime Wikipedia page," Dean grumbled, climbing into the back seat and rolling his jacket to use as a pillow. He'd been driving for eight hours and his vision had gone wobbly so Sam switched into the drivers seat. "Wake me up when we hit Boston." 

*** 

They checked into a cheap motel, Dean had swiped a credit card off an unsuspecting man at a gas station they were using to pay. Their old survival habits from before they'd settled into the Bunker were coming back. Sam had written down the address of Other Dean, along with the name and location of the conference Other Sam was attending this week. 

Castiel suggested running some recon on the Other Brothers before barging in and asking for their help. "Even if their are supernatural creatures here, it doesn't mean that your other selves know that and they might be very surprised to meet you."

They split up: Cas checking out Dean's office at MIT, Dean staking out Other Dean's house, and Sam keeping an eye out for himself at the conference. They agreed to meet back that evening and regroup. 

Dean tracked down the house -- it was a charming New England colonial style house, brick exterior, white columns, blue shutters, like something from a freakin magazine. The yarn was well manicured and a Prius was parked in the driveway. Dean parked a few houses down across he street to stake it out. It was early morning, and he if his other self kept a normal schedule he should be leaving for work soon -- giving Dean a perfect chance to snoop around inside. He would take a look inside and then go see what Cas had learned about his doppelgängers at the office at MIT. Between the house and office he was sure to find something useful. He wasn't sure at what point to talk to Other Dean, but some recon on the guy first was probably a good idea. 

Dean sat for an hour, watching the house carefully. Finally he saw himself come out, precariously carrying a laptop case, stack of books and travel mug of coffee. Other Dean managed to climb into the Prius without dropping anything and drove off down the road away from Dean. 

Dean waited a few minutes to be safe and then headed over to the house. A quick sweep of the perimeter showed nothing out of the ordinary. He found the back doors -- glass French doors on the patio (complete with table, chairs, and a grill) -- and pulled his lock pick out. The door opened into an airy kitchen, clean and tidy. He wandered from there into a living room, as picturesque as the kitchen: complete with family pictures on the mantelpiece, a leather couch and coffee table, and a large tv with a sound system Dean immediately coveted. 

A desk sat in the far corner, and he quickly looked through the drawers. It was all engineering stuff, and not helpful for this project. His eye was caught by a wedding photo on the center of the mantle. He crossed the room to get a better look. There were a few pictures of Sammy, Mom and Dean, but in the middle was a picture of Dean -- full suit and tie, freakin boutinere on his lapel -- smiling like a complete fool, his arm draped around a dark haired man with beautiful eyes and a matching outfit (different tie though), their hands entwined and the unmistakable shape of a wedding band on Dean's left hand. 

The photo frame had an engraving: Dean and Casey, 18 September 2008. 

"What the hell?" Dean muttered. The date did not escape his attention, nor the fact that the man in picture (Casey, really?!) bore a striking resemblance, though not identical to someone he knew. Dean only then realized that he hadn't been surprised at the fact his other self married a man. Huh. 

A shadow of movement distracted him and he turned around just in time to see Other Dean smash his fist down on Dean's head. The world went black again.


	3. I'm bisexual, you idiot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Other Dean have a little chat. Dean discovers some things about himself. And Other Dean calls him out on his bullshit.

Dean was really getting tired of being knocked out and waking up without knowing where he was. He came up and realized he was tied to a chair in a dimly lit ... laundry room? It looked like a basement in any suburban house he'd ever broken into: washer and dryer against the far wall, table with laundry baskets beside it, shelves of random stuff (some labeled "xmas lights", "keepsakes", "stuff"). There were small storm windows near the ceiling, letting in dim light from outside -- so probably a basement. 

Dean realized belatedly that he'd been woken up by the water thrown on his face. He licked his lips....salt water. 

"Wakey wakey," he heard his own voice say. 

Dean groaned. He was also really tired of being tied up by himself too. He opened his eyes and saw his hands were handcuffed to the chair and his arms were tied with rope, securing them to his body and preventing much movement. He noticed his left sleeve rolled up and a small cut nicked into the skin. 

"So," Other Dean said, expertly twirling a knife in one hand....probably a silver knife. "You ain't a shifter, or a demon. You don't react to holy water, salt or silver. You're carrying normal hunter tools of the trade. So that leaves me thinking you might actually be me, which is clearly insane. And impossible. Care to explain the resemblance?"

Dean shifted in the chair, testing the restraints.

"And everyone thought you were normal here," he muttered. Looking defiantly up at himself he said, "I can't really explain it. Not that you'll believe."

"Try me." 

"You're a hunter?" Maybe Sam had been wrong, maybe Mary had still raised the boys in the family business and their normal professional careers were just cover stories.

Other Dean nodded. "Obviously." 

"You ever met an angel?"

"There's no such thing," Other Dean said. "You're gonna have to try harder than that." 

Dean shook his head, of course he didn't believe himself. Dean has barely believed Cas when he had met the angel in person. 

"Look, I get it. You don't want to believe me. You got no reason to. And really probably I shouldn't be telling you any of this anyway. But I am you. I promise. I'm you from a different ... I dunno, world? Reality? We were sent here by some dick angel named Gabriel who was trying to keep us out of his way for a bit." Dean could see the other man wasn't buying it. "When I was four years old there was a fire in my house, my mom died. And my dad...he became obsessed with finding and killing the demon that did it." 

"Interesting, I think you got the story backwards. Nice try though."

"Shut up asshat," Dean bit out. "Look, I don't want to be here either. That's why I came looking for you. I figured maybe you or Sam could send us home?"

Other Dean's eyes grew dark, he leaned in close, pressing the knife close to Dean's throat. "I will say this once." His voice was low and dangerous. "Stay the hell away from Sam."

Dean maintained his eye contact with the other man and nodded slightly. Apparently regardless of what universe they were in, some things stayed the same.

"You said 'we'," Other Dean said, stepping back. "Who else is with you?"

Dean shut his mouth tightly.

"Oh, suddenly shy?"

At least I'm still kinda an asshole here, Dean thought. He couldn't risk the others, not until he got this Dean on his side. 

"Look man. You want answers, I get that. But I am you, so you know I won't say anything that could endanger my friends until you at least untie me." 

"I'm still not sure who you are, so I'm not untying you. Sorry." 

"Fair enough. How about trading information? I'll answer your questions, you answer mine."

Other Dean thought for a moment and finally nodded. He pulled another chair over and sat facing Dean. 

"Where did you come from?"

"I told you. I'm from another reality or world. I don't know the right words for it. Gabriel, he's an angel, he sent us here. I don't know why. I just want to get home. Who's the man in all the pictures upstairs? Your boyfriend?"

Other Dean looked down for a moment. "He was my husband," he said quietly. 

"Was?" 

"He died a year ago. No, he wasn't a hunter. It was a drunk driver." 

Husband. 

"You're ... gay?"

"No."

"Then how --"

Other Dean glared at him. "Wow, so apparently in your world I'm both ignorant and an asshole. I'm bisexual you idiot, which means if you're actually me, then you already know that."

Dean looked away. This was not a can of worms he was ready to open yet. He couldn't help but notice that Other Dean's husband looked strangely like --

"My turn," Other Dean said. "Who else came with you?" 

"Sammy. And Cas." 

"Cas?"

So Sam was right; they didn't know Castiel in this world. Dean was surprised by how sad that fact made him. He could deal with a lot of funny quirks here, but not knowing Cas? 

"He's my --. He's an angel. The first one we ever met. He's not like the rest of them, he's a good guy. He, uh, pulled me out of Hell and he's helped us stop more than one apocalypse; well, I guess he also accidentally started one, but he helped fix that so ..." 

Other Dean smirked at him. "Good friend of yours?"

"I, uh --"

Other Dean winked. "I can tell." 

"It's not like that." 

"Uh huh." Other Dean was still smirking. "You're me, remember, I can see through your bullshit."

"Shut up. My turn."

"Did you find the demon that killed Dad?" 

"Mom killed him. It took her the better part of three years to do it, but she did. She couldn't just take off and go hunt, she had two kids to raise. Apparently a hunter had crossed her path a few years before who had dealt with Yellow Eyes before and she had some leads. She killed him with a special gun --"

"The Colt?"

Other Dean nodded. 

"How'd you get into hunting then?"

"Uh uh, my turn. Are Cas and Sam tracking down their doppelgängers like you did?"

There was no getting around sharing the info now. "Sam is, but it's strictly recon. He didn't want to upset things or interact with this world more than necessary."

"You obviously had no such qualms."

Dean shrugged, smiling slightly. "In my defense I thought you were just an average joe, not Jason Bourne. Now, how'd you become a hunter?"

"Mom never wanted me to be. And I'm a hunter in the traditional sense -- one of those wayward vagabonds who roams the country picking fights with monsters. But I'm not an idiot. Mom figured after taking out Yellow Eyes that there might be repercussions and demons might come after her or me or Sam. So she trained us to fight, but mostly she trained us to recognize the supernatural dangers that we might encounter. When trouble comes to town I go take it out, or pass it off to other hunters. But that's it. The rest of the time I pay my taxes and teach college kids." 

"So you're like Bobby." 

"Bobby Singer? Now there's a crazy old man. But yeah, I put people in touch with him when something happens. He's got a whole network of hunters to call." 

Dean glared at him. "He's still alive?" 

"What do you mean --. Oh. You and he, you worked together?" 

"We did. He was the closest... he was the closest thing I had to a father, more of a dad than even John was. He died a few years ago, saving Sam and me." 

Other Dean's face softened. "I'm sorry. Look, I didn't have a dad growing up, but Mom did a damn fine job of raising us. She never even let hunting get in the way, and when we were old enough, she taught us to protect ourselves." He laughed. "It's funny, I never even suspected anything as a kid, she kept it all so compartmentalized. I used to wonder how she had done it, but I guess I get it now."

Dean thought about the implication ... "He didn't know, did he?" He said softly. 

Other Dean shook his head sadly. 

"I'm sorry man." 

They sat together in silence for a long moment. Eventually Other Dean cleared his throat. "I'm supposed to be interrogating you."

"Right, yeah..." 

"Do I need to worry your Sam is gonna hurt anyone?"

"No. Believe me. The one thing I can assure you is that Sam is harmless. But I'm not," he added. "Wait, why are worried about Sam?"

"Just being thorough."

But Dean could see in his eyes there was something more. Something Other Dean was keeping close; he'd work on getting it out of him later. 

"Is your Sam married?"

"Yes. Her name is Ruby, and she's a bitch. Is yours married?"

"No. Wait, Ruby?" 

"You seem surprised." 

"It's just," Dean mulled it over. "We knew a Ruby. She was a demon. And a bitch, but it was mostly the demon part that bothered me. She made Sam... It wasn't good."

Other Dean seemed unfazed. 

"Is he still with her?" 

"No." 

"Is he as emotionally stunted as you are?" 

"Actually no. He's uh... Sammy turned out ok. In our world Yellow Eyes killed Jess -- Sam's college girlfriend, over a decade ago. That's why he started hunting with me again."

"Again?" 

Dean sighed. He supposed it was sharing time after all. "We grew up on the road, we'd been hunting together our whole lives. And then Sammy went off to college." Dean was not sure why he was sharing all this, but there was something easy about talking to himself; maybe because he could see the other man judging him, and he knew that this was just the external version of how he usual critiqued himself. "He was a genius kid and he got a scholarship to go to Stanford. He wanted out, from hunting, and he got it. Until Jess died. Then he got back in to kill the thing that did it, and I guess he never got out."

"Did you want out?"

"Me?" Dean scoffed. "I'm, what, no, what would I do?"

"I don't know. Maybe, and I'm just brainstorming here...be an engineer, get married, go on vacation, go out to a ball game with your friends. Just some ideas."

"Just cuz you're me doesn't mean we're the same. You, you've got a whole life going on here man, and that's just not me." 

Other Dean looked skeptical. "Right." 

"You weren't surprised about Ruby." 

Other Dean's eyes darkened. "I've tried, you know. I've tried so many times to reach him. Sam doesn't want me to. He's either too in love or too far under her sway, whatever it is... I don't know." 

"You mean he... Wait, I thought he was here visiting you?"

"Ha!" Other Dean scoffed. "Sam and I haven't spoken in almost five years. He doesn't think about anyone but himself, or that bitch wife of his."

"Five years?" A terrible memory of hearing himself say he hadn't seen Sam in five years floated through his mind. "Dude, you gotta do something. You gotta --"

"I can't reach him! He's... I dunno... Addicted to her or something." 

"He is!"

"What?" 

"He is addicted to her, well her blood." 

Other Dean looked ready to slap him. "That's gross man. What are you saying?"

"He's addicted to --. Oh. Oh, you don't know about the demon blood?"

"Answers. Now." 

Dean took a deep breath. "Right, because here Mom killed Azazel before she found out what he was planning. Look, my dad worked it out, ok? Azazel, uh Yellow Eyes, wanted to create an army of humans with psychic powers. He broke into their homes and fed them his blood when they were babies; he did it to Sam the night of the fire. Sam could see the future, he would get visions of people in danger. Anyway, eventually he got addicted to demon blood -- drinking it gave him the power to send demons back to hell with his mind, which was just freaky. We had to lock him up and detox him, he was pretty far gone."

"What happened to Ruby?"

"I killed her." 

Other Dean sighed. "Yeah, well, sounds about right." 

"Dude, if your Sam is involved with her there's no telling what he could be doing. We've got to get to him."

"I thought you wanted to go home?"

"I do! But it's Sam." 

"Not your Sam, not your problem."

"He's your brother! How could you possibly say that?"

"He made a choice, Dean. And I hate it. And I do keep reaching out to him, I keep trying to make it right, but I had to let him go."

"It's your job to protect him!"

"It's my -- Yes. To an extent. But not at the cost of my own life or my own sanity. Come on, man, there has to be a limit. And it's not my job to carry the weight of the world and every choice Sam makes on my shoulders." 

And there it was. The difference between them. This man had not grown up with John. He had not had the paramount importance of protecting his brother at all costs drilled into him. Hell, even Mary had waited until the boys were older before teaching them about monsters. Even so, Dean found himself ashamed -- except, he wasnt sure if he was ashamed his other self wasn't willing to sacrifice everything to save Sam, or ashamed that he was. 

"John raised you on the road?" Other Dean asked quietly. 

Dean nodded. 

"And he taught you to protect Sam, to always keep him safe?"

"Yes. It was my job to keep him safe."

"He never should have put that on you," Other Dean said gently. 

They sat in silence. 

"Come on, man," Other Dean said eventually. "We're gonna hit a standstill at some point. Is there any way you can prove who you are?"

Dean shook his head. "Shockingly, this isn't the first time I've encountered another version of myself, but he and I had a shared history so I convinced him who I was by telling him something no one else would know."

"That's not really work here. I'm sensing we had very different childhoods." 

"Yeah," Dean scoffed. "That's an understatement." 

"If I untie you, are you gonna kill me?" 

"Not planning on it yet." 

"Funny. Anyone ever tell you you're a dick?"

Dean winked. "I tell myself that everyday actually." 

Other Dean glared at him, but nonetheless unlocked the handcuffs and untied the rope. Dean stood, stretching his arms. 

"Don't worry, I don't bite," Dean said, noticing the other man looking at him warily. 

"That's a shame," Other Dean said. 

Dean was startled by the comment and tried to hide his reaction. 

"I got no idea how to send you home, but I can make some calls," Other Dean said. "I gotta go teach class, but when I'm done I'll reach out to some friends who might know something." He led the way upstairs, Dean following him. "I guess ... You're welcome to make yourself at home, hang out here. Just don't traumatize my neighbors or anything." 

"You sure?"

Other Dean looked at him, surprised. "Yeah, why?" 

"It's just. You barely know me. And you're letting me hang out at your house."

"Wow, you really have trust issues, don't you?" 

"Hey, I --"

"Guess maybe we aren't that similar."

Dean was hurt by that comment and he didn't know why. Other Dean must have seen it on his face, because he looked like he regretted the comment. 

"I'm sorry, that was --" 

"It's fine."

Now Other Dean looked flat out annoyed. "Man, you gotta at least learn to let someone apologize to you. We will work on your social skills when I get home, and maybe throw in some self esteem, free of charge." He glanced at his watch. "Ok, I gotta run to work but I'll be home in a few hours. There's TV, fridge has food, iPad on the kitchen table has our birthday as the passcode. Stay out of trouble."

Dean smiled, trying to be ok with how normal Other Dean was. "Ok, thanks man. I promise I'm not gonna cause trouble."

Other Dean nodded, grabbing his backpack and heading out. Dean pulled out his phone and texted Sam. 

DEAN: You find anything interesting?

Dean finished wandering around the house, opening drawers, trying to learn as much as possible about his other self. He found himself drawn back to the mantle, where pictures of Other Dean and his late husband were displayed. How entirely normal. Other Dean had seemed so comfortable with the fact he had had a husband and was even insulted that Dean had wrongly guessed his own sexuality. So what, in this bizarro world Mary was alive, Sammy was the screw up, and ok fine Dean was bi. But that didn't mean Other Dean was exactly the same as him, right? Besides, wouldn't he know if he were bi? And even if he was, it didn't really change that back in his world, unlike his freaky normal and well adjusted clone, he wasn't exactly a good person to be partnered with. 

His phone chimed, interrupting his thoughts. 

SAM: Possibly. Did you find Dean-two?

DEAN: yeah

SAM: and? 

DEAN: He's got some hunter contacts and is gonna make some calls. 

He considered a moment and then added:

DEAN: he says Sam-two is married to Ruby and is into some bad stuff.  
DEAN: Be careful 

SAM: Ruby, like RUBY Ruby?  
SAM: ok, I will   
SAM: shit that's messed up   
SAM: wonder if it's blonde Ruby or brunette Ruby ;) ;) ;) 

DEAN: not funny

Dean eventually settled for raiding the fridge and using the iPad for research. He remembered his djinn dream over a decade ago -- he hadn't been a hunter then either, and he and Sammy hadn't been close. His mom had been alive, but all of the people they'd saved had died. It had been part of the reason Dean had fought so hard to get back. That and the whole dying thing. 

He googled as many of their cases as he could remember. Some things had just never happened on this world: no Apocalypse symptoms, no Dick Roman, no Cain massacre of a whole bloodline. Other things still had happened -- a plane that never crashed, a school whose mysterious haunting, a child who never drowned. It seemed to have almost ...balanced out. Even without the boys as hunters, the world had kept spinning. Except for this whole Ruby business. Even though Other Dean seemed adamant to stay out of it... He just couldn't. There had to be something he could do. 

Other than Sammy though...it all seemed to work out. Dean was ok with that, even happy that such a reality existed. It would never work in their world, of course, they'd had too great an impact already. And besides, looking around the house Dean tried imagine himself retiring and living a normal life -- it just wasn't in the cards for him. 

SAM: I found Sam2

DEAN: did you talk to him? 

SAM: no, just following for now 

DEAN: be careful 

Dean didn't know how to tell his brother that in this world he was a monster. That he was still under Ruby's power. And more importantly, how would he save Other Sam?

He pulled out his phone to text Cas. 

DEAN: tell me you have good news

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of Team Free Will (and Mary, Charlie, Ruby, Chuck, Eileen) will be appearing in their doppelgäng form -- are there other characters you wanna see in Bizzaro Earth? Leave me a comment and I'll try to write them in :)


	4. Hello Professor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel tries to spy on Other Dean and accidentally ends up going on a date with him instead.

Castiel had never been so fascinated by a human. Dean two...Other Dean, Cas figured he'd call him, seemed like a perfectly normal, incredibly regular college professor. Which was fascinating when compared to the version of Dean from his world.

Turning himself invisible, Castiel flew into Other Dean's office, looking through drawers, searching his computer files, (thanks to Sam, Cas was quite tech savvy now), and scanning through the notes in piles on his desk. He was clearly brilliant. And also, again, so normal. His google calendar showed classes scheduled, office hours, and on a few evenings he even had "drinks with Scott and Sara" or "football!!! night" written in. This Dean seemed to have a heathy social life as well. Cas laughed as he imagined his Dean's reaction to all this.

He left the office and explored the classrooms and lecture halls. According to the calendar, Other Dean should be here soon to teach an intro class. Castiel wandered around and when the students started to arrive, he stationed himself out of the way and waited in a corner of the classroom (still invisible). 

Other Dean strode in, looking comically different than Dean. He was wearing khaki pants and a navy blue button down (actually buttoned), along with a dark brown sweater and a tie loosely knotted. He balanced a cup of coffee in one hand, and a stack of papers and a laptop in the other. Castiel found himself oddly attracted to this new style, a feeling which intensified as Other Dean casually slipped on his glasses to read off names from the stack of papers he was returning. 

"Alright, settle down," Other Dean said. "Yes, I'm returning your tests, yes you can come talk to me about your grade, and no I won't change it unless you have a really really brilliant reason I should. You're in this class to learn engineering, not negotiation. Also I'm sorry I have to cancel office hours today, something personal came up."

"Something personal?" asked a young man in the front row. "Professor, you got a hot date or something?" 

Dean smirked at the student. "Yep, I have a date. At 12:15pm. I hope he's not a vampire, we're sitting in an outdoor cafe, lots of sunlight," he joked. 

The class laughed. Castiel smiled. At least Other Dean had a similar sense of humor. 

The class lasted a little over an hour. Castiel watched, entranced by this version of his best friend. This man was confident, assured. He made jokes and kept his students engaged; he teased them playfully if they said something particularly stupid, but he seemed perfectly at ease. Castiel even noted how naturally Dean had joked that his date was a man. Gone were the waves of self loathing, the doubt and fear, this man was comfortable in his own skin. It was refreshing to see. 

Castiel eventually wandered back to the office, checking once more to see if he could find anything that would help. Other Dean seemed clean. Maybe he'd been right in predicting the course of events here -- the Winchesters were not hunters. 

"Something I can help you with?"

Castiel whipped around. He had been careless, lost in his own thoughts, and hadn't realized he was visible. Other Dean was standing in the doorway of his office, a smile on his face, but Cas could see there was a hardness under the surface he could break out if he needed. 

"I, uh --" What reason could he possibly give? He didn't want to disappear -- if Other Dean really wasn't a hunter, than a man going invisible in front of him wasn't the best idea. 

"Usually I make people buy me a drink before sticking their hands in my drawers," Other Dean continued, advancing.

"Sorry, I was uh, just looking for... I mean, are you, um --"

"Wow, you suck at this." Other Dean closed the space between them, stopping a foot front Cas and making it clear he dominated the space. "First time asking someone out? Don't get me wrong, I'm flattered and you are all sorts of gorgeous, but maybe try knocking first next time."

Castiel shook his head, trying to clear it. Other Dean was very close, so close Cas could smell him...and he smelled good, which was weird and distracting. All the confused romantic thoughts about his own Dean were swirling together in his head. Would this what it would be like for Dean to flirt with him for real? 

He made himself focus. Other Dean thought he was here to ask him out, perhaps he could use that to gain insight about the man. This would be better than real Dean interacting with him and exposing him to the supernatural world. 

"Yeah, sorry, I'm not so good at this," Cas said. "I kinda lost my nerve and was gonna find a pen so I could write my number down and --. You're right though, I should not have invaded your personal space."

Other Dean looked amused. "You're welcome to invade it anytime you want," he said coyly. "You got a name, cutie?"

"Um. Yes, it's uh -- Steve." Castiel used his name from when he'd been human. He'd noticed that most people found the name "Castiel" strange, and he was trying to seem as normal as possible.

"Well, Steve, save yourself a post-it. I have a break before my next class, wanna take a break from burglary and grab some coffee?"

"It's not uh, technically burglary if I didn't take anything."

Other Dean chuckled. "I'm gonna like you Steve." He nodded his head towards the door. Cas followed him down a few floors to the little cafe in the building. 

"So, tell me about yourself." Other Dean said as they sipped their coffee. He'd led Cas to a small table where they sat down. 

Luckily, Castiel had been working on his cover story since they'd left the office. He decided to recycle one Sam had made up for him on a hunt once. 

"I'm an PhD student, uh, religion. I'm studying the effects of near death experiences of people, how they react to trauma, and whether it manifests with religious practice or not." 

Other Dean's eyes went dark for half a second. "So like, if I almost die in a car crash, you wanna know if I start going to church the next Sunday."

Castiel nodded. "Broadly speaking, yes." Sam had developed this story specifically for him because it would explain his deep knowledge of religion and such, along with open an opportunity to interview victims they needed to speak to for cases. 

"What inspired this project?" Other Dean asked. "Did you have a near death experience?"

Castiel laughed. "Yes, several," he answered honestly. Too many. 

"And how would you say it affected your view of religion? You think there's a God out there who saved you?"

Cas considered. On the one hand, Dean was a scientist, not a hunter, so there was a chance he didn't believe in God. On the other, he did seem genuinely interested and Cas needed to keep the conversation going in order to learn more about him. 

"I do," he said, carefully watching Dean. "But I don't know if it's that simple. What about you? Do you think there's a God?"

Dean shook his head. "Maybe, but I don't think he gives two shits about what happens to me personally." 

There was the Dean he knew. 

"But hey, maybe not a bad thing," Other Dean continued brightly. "Can you imagine being someone God did care about? That'd be like wearing a crosshairs on you and having to fight heavenly battles with potentially apocalyptic consequences. I think it's better to fly under the radar." 

Castiel wanted to tell him how right he was. 

They talked until the coffee was gone. Cas managed to get basic information from him, but from what he could tell, there was nothing hunter-ish about this Dean. Better to probably leave him out of their grand plan to get home. Maybe they could contact Mary instead? 

Castiel realized he'd been distracted by his thoughts again and had followed Other Dean back towards the offices. They were in a side corridor, alone, when Other Dean stopped walking and turned to Cas. 

"This was fun," he said, taking a step closer. "It's not everyday I get a date with a burglar." 

Castiel smiled; even though it hadn't been real Dean, it has truly been an enjoyable fake date. He wondered again what it would be like if his Dean could just be normal for two seconds and take him to get coffee. They were so close and yet so far, something was holding him back from being himself and saying what he wanted. But Castiel could feel it, could feel the weird sense of longing coupled with doubt. Whatever caused that, it wasn't present here in this Dean ... 

Who had backed Cas into the wall, planting his hands on either side of him. 

"What do you say, you wanna break into my office again sometime?" Other Dean leaned forward, pressing his lips to Cas's. The angel was startled at first but then melted into the kiss. His brain was going 800 miles per hour. He was kissing Dean. Something he'd wanted to do for quite some time. Except this wasn't really Dean. Except right now the feel of his warm, soft lips gently exploring Castiel's distracted him from that fact. 

After a moment Cas pulled back for a breath. Something else inside him was taking over -- his mission slowly becoming secondary in his thoughts. "Yes," he breathed, "I should definitely break in again. Maybe even steal a pen." 

"Rebel." 

Dean pushed his body against Cas, sandwiching him on the wall. Castiel loved the feel of their bodies pressed together. He allowed himself to imagine they were at home in the bunker, his Dean was kissing him, and they had all the time in the world. Other Dean's body pressed against his, his hands running along Cas's arms and chest, squeezing his thighs. Cas could feel his body responding to Dean's, both of them growing semi-hard. 

Dean shifted his legs, nudging one between Cas's and friction felt so good, Cas's breath caught. Noting his reaction, Other Dean did it again. He peppered Cas's neck and ears with kisses before returning to his lips. His hand wandered over to the bulge in Cas's pants, teasingly running his fingers along the front and then just above his waistband. 

Cas wanted him. He didn't even care it wasn't the right Dean. Or that they were in a hallway. Or that he was supposed to be --

His phone buzzed loudly in his pocket. He ignored it. It kept buzzing. He desperately wanted to stay in the moment -- 

"You wanna get that?"

He should. If someone was calling it was Dean or Sam. 

"I don't want to," Cas growled. "But I should."

Against his better judgement he pushed Other Dean back. He was so swept up in the powerful feelings he was having about Dean that he forgot though where he was. He forgot this wasn't his Dean. He forgot he was undercover. He forgot his name wasn't Cas. 

"If they're calling, it means Sam or Dean got themselves into a mess and I might have to go pull their asses out of the fire," he said casually annoyed as he pulled he phone out. 

The moment the words were out of his mouth Castiel realized his mistake. Dean -- OTHER Dean -- stepped back from him, a look of confusion, followed by understanding, followed by anger danced across his face. 

"Oh my god," he muttered. "You're Cas."

Castiel was shocked now too. How could he possibly --? Dean. Dammit Dean. What else had he told this man?

"I will tell you everything in a moment," Cas said, glancing at the phone. Sam calling. "But I have to take this first." 

Other Dean continued to look shocked, and then finally nodded. 

"Sam?" Cas greeted. "Are you alright?"

"No, uh, Cas, we got a problem here. I found other Sam and he's just, well he's a mess. And now I'm --"

"Are you ok? Is there Dean there?"

"Yeah, he's here and we need you. You gotta come right now, Cas!" Sam sounded urgent. 

"On my way. Where are you?"

"Is that Sam?" Other Dean asked quietly. Cas nodded. 

"We're in a lot off of Main Street. Main and water," Sam said. 

Castiel hung up, putting the phone back in his pocket. He turned back to Dean. "I'm sorry, there's no time to explain --"

"I met Dean," he interrupted. "He said that an angel named Cas came with them."

"Of course he told you," Cas sighed. "I'm sorry I lied; I was just trying to spy on you more effectively."

Other Dean smiled. "Hey, I'm not complaining. Dean is gonna kill me if he ever finds out, but hey, worth it. So your Sam and Dean are in trouble?"

Cas nodded. 

"If I accidentally told your Dean that Sam here is a little messed up and into some dark stuff, how likely is it that he --"

"Dropped everything to go save him?" Cas interrupted. "Highly likely." 

"You want some back up?" 

"I, uh --" 

"Oh, right, you think I'm a normal guy, right. Mom trained me to be a hunter, and I already managed to overpower and capture Dean -- don't worry, I let him out -- is that enough of a resume to come with you?" 

Cas nodded. He carried two angel blades in his coat; he pulled one out and handed it to Dean. "I'm told flying isn't the most pleasant form of transit," he warned. 

They appeared a moment later in the backlot. There were old cars and rusted shipping containers scattered around -- definitely a spot the boys could have gotten themselves ambushed. Sam was lying on the ground, and Cas immediately ran over to him. 

"Sam, are you alright? Where's Dean?"

Sam sat up slowly, something clenched in his hand. He smiled up at Cas, and the angel knew something was wrong. He heard a loud thwack, and turned to see a tall blonde woman standing over a now unconscious Other Dean. She was in a different meatsuit, but Cas knew that face.

"Ruby." 

Oh. Fuck. He turned back just in time to see Sam light the matchbook and drop it on the ground, activating the circle of holy fire around him.

"So you must be Cas," Other Sam said. "I've never met an angel before."

"He's perfect," Ruby said, coming over and snaking her arm around Sam's waist. "But that's Dean from your time, so what do you want me to do with him?" 

Other Sam smiled and it sent chills into Cas's blood. 

"Let's take him with us," he said quietly. "I wanna have some fun with my good ol big brother."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going out of town for a week, so probably a few days til the next chapter, sorry :-/ 
> 
> Tell me any "Other" character you wanna see show up at some point!


	5. Let Me Help You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam meets Other Sam.   
> Cas meets Other Sam.  
> Other Sam is a dick, just FYI.   
> And Dean calls upon an old friend to help rescue the hostages.

_Four hours earlier_

SAM: I found Sam2

DEAN: did you talk to him?

SAM: no, just following him for now

DEAN: be careful

 

Sam put his phone back in his pocket, grimacing. _Be careful._ Dean clearly knew, as Sam did, that if Other Sam was with Ruby and “into some bad stuff”, that it couldn’t be good. Sam wondered just how far gone he would find himself.

Sam kept his distance from his other self as he made his way threw the hotel hosting the conference. Other Sam had checked in and then disappeared into the maze of the hotel. Sam had tailed him for awhile, but now that he was clearly not returning to his room, Sam took this as his opportunity to do some more snooping. 

He walked up to the reception desk, casually leaning against it and smiling at the woman working there. “Hi there, um,” he glanced at her nametag, “Carly. I forgot my keycard in my room, any chance you could help me out?”

She smiled at him. “Of course, sir. Your name?”

“Samuel Winchester.” He smiled at the fact he was using his own name as an alias. 

“Ah, yes, room 315? Hold on one moment.” She produced the new card, holding it out to him. “Usually we’re not supposed to make extra cards, so if you could bring this one back as soon as possible?”

“Of course, I’ll be back soon.” He took the card and headed up to the third floor.

Sam wasn’t sure what to expect of Other Sam’s room. He eased the demon knife out of his pocket, holding it defensively in front of him as he opened the door. The room was thankfully empty. There was a suitcase sitting on the bed. Sam opened it -- it was empty. A prop. The bed looked unused, and nothing in the room seemed out of place. He checked the drawers, under the mattress, all the normal places someone would hide something. There was nothing. Sam wondered if Other Sam had simply booked the room and left the empty suitcase in order to maintain his cover. But what was he up to, and how did Ruby fit into all this?

It was time to go catch up with his doppelgänger then. 

Sam made his way back to reception and headed for the lower levels of the hotel. The basement was labyrinth of dimly lit passages, leading to the laundry, the kitchen, various supply closets, a maintenance room and then … bingo, a security room -- hopefully with monitors covering the hotel, the fastest way to find himself. Sam reached into his jacket pocket, where he always kept a spare FBI badge (because you never know when you’ll need to flash one of those to get out of trouble), and knocked on door.

A tired looking guy with disheveled hair opened it. “What?”

“FBI, I need to take a look at your monitors,” Sam said smoothly, smiling at the guy as he simultaneously pushed his way inside. 

“FBI, need to look … what?”

Not the brightest bulb, are you? Sam thought. 

“Yeah, we’re looking for a suspect who may have fled into this hotel,” Sam continued, his eyes fixed on the screens as he scanned each one for his dopple. “If he did come through here, is that a back alleyway he might have used to escape?”

The security still seemed very confused. “Uh, I guess man, there’s the old loading dock, no one really uses it anyway … it leads into an alley on the street. He coulda gone that way, I suppose. Look, I don’t want any trouble, but is this guy dangerous or something?”

Sam looked over at the loading dock camera, nothing … but then, he caught himself, in a hallway, another guy walking in front of him, clearly there against his will. 

“Where does this hallway lead?” he asked once his freaky clone was off screen.

“The old loading dock,” the guard said grumpily.

“Ok, great. Thanks man, you’ve been a big help.”

Sam dashed out of the room, jogging down the corridors to the loading dock. He came around a corner and saw his other self shoving the guy through the door outside. Sam followed at a safe distance, caught the door before it could close, watching through the narrow crack.

Other Sam held the man against the wall, hand on his throat. “So, you ready to play nice?” he said quietly. “Have I convinced you I’m worth taking seriously by now?”

“I don’t know anything,” the man choked out. “I’m not working with her. No one has seen her for decades.”

“You sure about that?” Other Sam applied more pressure. His other hand came up, making a squeezing motion in mid-air that seemed to cause the man further pain.

“I have no idea…” the man gasped … “where Lilith is.”

Other Sam shrugged, dropping his hands. “Guess you’re not really any use then, are you?” He leaned in, and bit the man on the neck.

Sam watched in horror from the doorway as his evil self drained the man -- demon, he guessed -- of every last drop of blood. He was more horrified when he noticed himself lick his lips and he pushed down that old addiction that was suddenly calling to him very loudly. Sam made himself take a few long, deep breaths, before looking back. He had conquered this a long time ago, and he would never again be the thing his other self had become. 

Other Sam dropped the body to the ground. He pulled out his cell phone and punched in a number. “He didn’t know anything,” he said. “I’m heading back now, will you be there?” he paused, listening to the answer. “Oh, alright, see you tonight then. Don’t have too much fun without me.”

Sam followed himself at a distance. Other Sam exited via the back alley and led him through a winding path of alleys, back roads, and abandoned lots. Finally they came to a large, abandoned factory building by the waterfront. Other Sam disappeared inside, Sam waited a few seconds and then followed.

Sam’s body was lifted by invisible forces and thrown through the air into a nearby wall. He struggled to stand to his feet, looking around for the cause --

“Oh, wow, now look at you.” Other Sam stood over him, grinning down at him. “And who might you be, Sam Winchester?”

Sam pushed himself up and glared, saying nothing. 

“You’ve been following me since the hotel,” Other Sam said. “You a shifter? You don’t smell like a demon.”

“I’m you,” Sam said quietly.

“Nice try.”

“No, I am. I’m from … I dunno, a different reality or world, or whatever, but I am you.”

“You’re really me? In that case, you could have joined me for a drink back there.”

“I don’t do that anymore,” Sam said before he could think better of it. His eyes darted around, taking in his surroundings and any possible escape routes.

“Anymore?” Other Sam said, suddenly interested. 

This was not playing out the way Sam had wanted it to. He was gonna have to roll with it. “Look, I get it, ok. I used to … I used to drink blood, and run around with Ruby. And I felt awesome all the time -- powerful, invincible. I could do it all. But … but I was also a mess. I screwed up a lot of things --”

“Yeah, yeah, sounds pretty terrible.”

“No, listen to me. I understand. You think you have to do this, that you’re the only one powerful enough to stop whatever’s coming --”

“Stop?” Other Sam laughed. “You think I wanna stop … oh, this is good. So, you and Ruby, huh? Tell me more.”

Sam ignored him. “You have to stop. You gotta believe me, man. This path you’re going down, it isn’t good. I’ve been down that road; there is nothing good that can come from it. I remember, ok, I remember how amazing I felt when I drank demon blood. How power hungry I was when I killed them. But, you can stop. I did. Which means you can. Please, whatever you’re doing, whatever Ruby is making you do, don’t do it. Stop while you still can.”

Other Sam took a step back. “How do I stop?” he said weakly. His posture softened and his shoulders slumped over, he seemed to be taking Sam’s words with a level of severity. 

Sam was a little surprised, he actually hadn’t expected that to work. “I can help you. I can … You have to get away from Ruby and you have to stop drinking blood. You should probably quarantine yourself somewhere until you can get it all out of your system. I have a friend with me who might be able to help you too.”

“Friend?”

“His name is Cas, he’s an angel, he can probably make the process a little easier, at least at first. He can put you somewhere safe.”

“An angel?”

“A real, live, angel? Following you around?”

“We’re friends. I know it sounds weird, but trust me. He can help.”

Other Sam came closer. His pathetic shoulder slump was gone, and his voice was more even. “Thank you, Sam,” he said coldly. “You’ve proven to be very useful.”

Sam saw the blow coming, but Other Sam’s demon power prevented him from reacting. The world went dark again. 

*** 

Sam opened his eyes slowly, his head felt terrible, like someone had smashed something heavy into it. He could feel the duct tape binding his wrists, he twisted them, trying to loosen it. 

His thoughts were clearing and he started to remember what had happened. He managed to get his wrists free and started on the tape on his ankles. Clearly his attacker had not meant to keep him down forever, just to slow him down. He looked around, it looked like a closet or shed of some kind. The door was locked. 

Sam reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone....nope, the phone was gone. So was the demon knife. 

Ok, new plan. He stepped back and kicked hard at the door. It didn't open. He kicked it again, this time the door loosened on its hinges. One more solid kick and he was out. Sam observed his surroundings -- he was in the old factory where he'd met his other self. 

It was all coming back -- the alleyway, blood drinking, Other Sam throwing him against the wall like he weighed nothing … 

He needed to get ahold of Dean. He needed to warn him about Other Sam. And he needed to get ahold of Cas, warn him that Other Sam knew about him.

Too late. Sam reached the entrance of the warehouse -- a back alley, with a clear singed circle on the pavement. The mark of holy oil. 

Oh shit. Cas.

*** 

Sam pulled up in front of Other Dean's house, turning off the stolen car and heading to the porch. Good lord this place was picturesque. He would definitely need more details about Other Dean later. He banged on the door. 

"Dean, it's me, we got trouble." 

Dean opened the door, gun in hand. He motioned for Sam to come in, and then immediately shoved him against the closed door, pressing the gun against his ribs. 

"Dean, what the hell?"

"Which Sam are you?"

"Dude, it's me." 

"Prove it."

"Uh...Poughkeepsie." 

Dean didn’t budge.

“You hate that I know you’re secretly in love with Cas, even though neither of you will admit it.”

Dean looked flustered and then blushed. He lowered the gun. “I’m not … Cas is … Shut up.”

"Other Sam attacked me. And I think he took Cas. And also, he's with Ruby, like drinking blood, the whole --"

"What? Slow down." 

Sam took a deep breath and sat down on the couch. Dean pulled out his phone, presumably to text Cas. 

"I went to check out that conference that other me went to, and when I got your text about him I started following him. He seemed a little...off...and it was perfectly clear he was not here for a conference, it was just a cover. He pulled a guy into a back alleyway behind the conference center and ..." 

"Dude, you can't pause a story there!"

“He was asking the demon about Lilith, he’s trying to find her. And then he killed him and he …” Sam trailed off. Seeing his other self become so twisted and evil, it called up too many shameful memories of how he had once acted, the damage he had caused. 

“Drank his blood?” Dean supplied, his tone more gentle than Sam expected. Sam nodded. “Well, the whole Lilith thing can’t be good. What does this have to do with Cas?”

“I followed them to a warehouse, he caught me. I rolled with it, convinced him I’m me and that I knew what he was going through and that maybe I could help him. I dunno, save him. And at first he went along with it, but it was just a trick. Before he knocked me out, uh, I told him we could help. I told him --"

"You told him we had an angel with us? Sam, he's probably never seen angel."

"He knew how to trap one, there were scorch marks on the ground that looked like holy fire." 

"Ok, but why would evil you trap Cas?"

"I dunno man, but it can't be good. And Dean, other me, he's strong. Like demonically strong. He sent me flying across the room like it was nothing. I think we might need some help." 

"Ok, from who? We don't know anyone here!"

"We do. We know at least one angel, a demon, and very experienced hunter." 

Dean considered. Not the worst plan, assuming they could convince any of them to help. Maybe his other self could help -- shouldn't he be home by now?

"Ok," Dean said finally. "First, we have no idea if this world’s Castiel or Crowley will give two shits about helping us. Second, what do you think Mom is gonna do if we show up? She'll think we're shifters or monsters or something."

"You convinced your other self you're safe. Why wouldn't mom believe us? Especially if we have Other Dean introduce us. Where is he anyway?"

"He's ...uh, I don't know. He was supposed to be home already and was gonna help me get ahold of some hunters who might have info to send us back."

"Do you think something happened?"

Dean shook his head. Could something have happened to his other self? Cas had been taken, maybe Other Dean had also gotten caught in this bizarre crossfire. 

Dean pulled out his phone. "Let's at least try to figure out where you are," he said. 

***

"Rise and shine, beautiful." A hand slapped his face. 

Castiel opened his eyes slowly. Whatever spell had hit him before had knocked him solidly out. He came to, blinking a few times and trying to remember what had happened. 

Oh. Right. Evil-Sam. 

Castiel looked defiantly up at his captors. He was chained to a chair, the locks had angel warding on them. Other Sam smiled mirthlessly down at him, he features so close and yet so far from Cas's friend. A tall blonde woman leaned against a wall nearby, Ruby. 

"You know, I gotta say, you are a surprise, Castiel. Ruby told me there were angels, but I don't think I actually believed it until now. Sorry baby," he added with a glance back at Ruby. 

"You know I can't forgive you that easily," she simpered back. "But I'll think of an appropriate punishment." 

Other Sam smiled. "I can't wait." He turned back to Cas. "In the meantime, the question is, what do we do with an angel?" He snapped his fingers, and the chains around Cas's wrists began to tighten painfully. 

"I assume," Other Sam said, "that like most creatures you can feel pain. But just how much? Do you have a breaking point?" He waved his hand and the chains stopped tightening. 

"What do you want from me?" Cas asked. 

This man was so far from Sam...and yet, maybe Cas could reach him. He had spent a considerable amount of time with Sam in his world, they had been both enemies and friends, perhaps they were similar enough that Cas had a chance. 

"Sam, you and I... Where I come from, you and I are friends. Whatever is happening to you, please, let me help." 

Sam laughed, and Castiel felt his blood run cold at the sound.

"Help? Ahh, that's sweet. You sound just like my adorable doppelgänger I met earlier. "He's the one who told me about you." Sam pulled something shiny from his pocket -- Cas realized it was his angel blade, presumably lifted off of him. Sam twirled the blade between his hands. "He went on and on about how he could save me, how all I needed was to clean up, and how his wonderful angel pal could lend a hand." 

He pressed the blade softly against Cas's face. "You know, I've never seen a blade like this. And legend goes there's no weapon that can hurt an angel. Until now." He pushed down on the blade, drawing blood and grace from Cas's cheek. The angel gritted his teeth against the pain -- he'd been tortured far worse than this.

“What do you want?” Castiel asked again. 

Sam shrugged. “Patience, we’ll get there. No need to rush these things.”

“Where is Dean?” Castiel asked.

“Oh, my charming brother is uh … a little tied up at the moment. He’s mostly stayed out of my way until now, so this trip for him will probably be more catch and release. But I don’t know,” he pushed the blade painfully into Cas’s neck. “It’s been a good couple years since I tortured him. Last time he took the message to stay away pretty seriously, but maybe he’s due for an update.”

Cas decided to sift through those comments later. The Dean he had met before did seem like someone whose brother occasionally tortured him for fun ...but maybe this Dean had different coping mechanisms than the one Cas knew. Either way, he still wanted to protect him.

“Let him go, and I’ll tell you whatever you want.”

“Oh, that’s so sweet,” Ruby said mockingly. “Are you his guardian angel?”

“Something like that. I’ll tell you anything, just let Dean go. He’s no threat, he’s a professor, he has nothing to do --”

“Oh, so you don’t know him that well,” Sam said. “Dear old brother makes more trouble than he’s worth some days. I’m not quite ready to release him yet. But good to know what your weakness is. Ruby, why don’t you bring Dean in here. Let’s have a good ol’ fashioned family chat.”

Castiel was angry with himself, instead of helping, he had probably just endangered Dean. I thought I was doing the right thing, he told himself quietly, only to hear Dean’s voice echo back in his head, you always do. Once again, he’d screwed up. And once again he’d put Dean (ok, a different Dean, but still) in danger.

***

“Apparently Dean, uh, Other Dean, left for lunch with a tall dark haired man in a trenchcoat and never came back.” Sam said, hanging up the phone. He’d called MIT to see if he could track him down.

Dean looked up from the iPad. “And I got nothing here to find Mom. It looks like she emailed him a week ago to say she was helping a friend on a long term hunt, but no details. She’s supposed to check in tomorrow, but I got no way to find her.” He rubbed his hand over his face. 

“Ok, let’s assume that Dean got taken, or injured or something. I mean, Cas was in his office and they disappeared together. So maybe evil me took him too. I think we have to call in some help.”

“I did find someone who might be able to help us,” Dean said, handing Sam the iPad. “There’s a LARPing festival a few towns over and guess who’s the Queen?”

Sam smiled, she was alive here. “Charlie? She’s not a hunter here --”

“We don’t know that, and besides, she was helpful even before we got her mixed up in all this. Maybe she can help us track down Mom, or you, or somebody.”

“No.”

“Sam --”

“No. Dean, you just said we got her mixed up in this crap. We got her killed in our world. I won’t do that here.”

Dean glared at him. Sam glared back. He wasn’t gonna budge on this one. 

“Ok, Charlie is a last resort. So plan B. Mom’s a hunter, right? So if it’s like our world, then the hunter network should be able to find her. We call Bobby.”

“And he’s gonna believe us?”

“Probably not. But he’s our best chance. And he might have a way to send us home.”

“Ok, I’ll take Bobby, but you gotta call him, Dean,” Sam said. “We don’t know why other me took Cas, and it can’t be good. We need help and we need it now. I’ll call Bobby in the meantime, but this is a better chance.”

Dean threw his hands up in surrender. “Alright, alright.” He looked around, shifting, uncomfortable.

“You want me to give you the room?” Sam joked.

“Uh...actually, yeah. Go check the basement and see if you can find his weapons stash.” 

Sam rolled his eyes, but left. Dean rubbed his hands nervously together. He had no idea if this would work. But Sam was right, if they were gonna save Cas from his uber-powered hyped up on demon blood evil clone, they would need some serious help. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. 

Dean thought about Cas, called to mind an image of the angel, remembered the other night, their hands entwined on the couch. “Cas,” he said quietly. “I’m pretty sure my brother’s evil twin has you right now. I’m gonna save you, I’m gonna get you out of there, I promise. I … I need you back, man. I need you here. So we’re coming. Hold out until we get there, you hear? No self-sacrificing bullshit, just please be alive and not crazy and not possessed.” Dean realized this prayer was a lot longer than intended. “I’m gonna do something potentially stupid, that you’d probably laugh at or try to stop me. But Sammy says that EvilClone boy is strong. And I can’t risk losing you. So I’m bringing in someone more powerful. Please be ok, Cas. Please.”

Dean took another breath and then continued. “This prayer is for Castiel, the Castiel of this world. My name is Dean Winchester. Now, I know you don’t know me, but in another world you and I are friends. We’ve fought together. We’ve died for each other. The Cas from my world is here now, and he’s been captured by a powerful demon. I need your help to rescue him. Please. I will do whatever you want in return, just please help me save Cas. Oh, and if you need a meatsuit,” Dean added, “try a man in Illinois called Jimmy Novak. That’s your vessel from my world. Please hurry.”

Dean hated to do it. To throw poor Jimmy back into all this crap. But he didn’t have a lot of options. He couldn’t lose Cas, and if there was a chance Castiel would help them -- he couldn’t waste time searching for vessels. 

A few moments passed. Dean had no idea if Castiel had been listening, or if he gave a shit enough to show up. Even if he did, how long would it take for him to possess Jimmy and get here?

The TV switched on -- static. The radio switched on -- static. A high pitched whining noise emanated from all corners of the house. This was eerily familiar. 

“Castiel, I can’t understand you, please lower the volume,” Dean shouted. The whining noises and static stopped.

Sam came running into the room. “What the hell?” 

Dean smiled. “I think that means he’s on his way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delayed updates. I'm working on weaving more Other____ characters into the next few chapters. Stay tuned. Also, I love comments, so please tell me what you think!


	6. Therapy Session

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel arrives to help save Cas and Other Dean.   
> Dean and Other Dean have a heart-to-heart. 
> 
> TW: cannon typical violence

Cas heard Dean’s prayer, and wondered immediately what crazy stupid thing the hunter was about to do. Given Dean’s track record though, it couldn’t be good. But the directions he gave were clear enough -- find a way to survive long enough to be rescued. The only problem was Cas also wanted Other Dean to survive. 

The human in question was now tied to a chair across the room from him. He had been knocked unconscious and was slowly coming to. Cas tried not to hate himself for putting this man in danger. 

“Hey, big brother, long time no see,” Other Sam taunted. He still had the angel blade, and used it to slit a long cut into Other Dean’s arm. “Good thing you aren’t a demon, or I’d be tempted to drink you up right now.”

Other Dean looked defiantly at Other Sam, and glanced over at Cas.

“I’m assuming this wasn’t part of the plan,” he joked. Turning back to his brother he grinned. “Hey Sam, I thought I wasn’t due for another torture session until next Christmas.”

“Well Dean, what can I say? All work and no play.” Other Sam inflicted another shallow cut onto his arm. “I was going to leave you alone, but then halo over here seems to have a soft spot for you.” Other Sam turned to Cas. “You wanted to know what I want? See, Ruby and I have a plan. But we keep hitting snags along the way. We’re looking a demon, a powerful demon, and no one seems to know where she is. Maybe you or your heavenly chorus got her locked up somewhere. We need her.”

Cas remained silent. Other Sam pulled out the demon knife and stabbed it into Other Dean’s leg. The man grunted at the pain, but didn’t scream. 

“So, Cas, you wanna save Dean over here? Tell me how to find Lilith.”

 

Cas felt his blood freeze. There was only one logical reason Other Sam would be looking for Lilith -- he was trying to break the seals and free Lucifer. Perhaps the Apocalypse was meant to happen on this earth, just many years later. Sadly, Cas realized he would not be able to protect Other Dean. Too much was at stake, and he could not risk giving Other Sam a way to jumpstart Judgement Day. Cas could only hope that this Dean was as tolerant of pain and torture as the one he knew and could hold out until help arrived. 

Other Sam took his silence as an answer. He roughly yanked the knife out and stabbed it into Dean’s other leg, twisting it. Dean cried out again. Other Sam smacked him across face several times, leaving dark welts that would bruise. His lip was split open and his nose was bleeding. Cas remained silent. Other Sam turned the angel blade back on Cas, whose own injuries were still fresh and unhealed. His clothing was torn and covered in blood. Sam jabbed the blade into his arm, drawing blood and grace. Cas stifled his own cries of pain. 

“Tell me how to find Lilith,” Other Sam said, his voice quiet and dangerous. “Tell me, Cas, and I’ll let your friend go.”

“We both know you won’t do that. I tell you anything, we both die,” Cas spit back at him. “And I won’t help you destroy the world.” He glanced over at Other Dean, who was taking this all quite calmly. “I’m sorry, Dean, I don’t want to cause you pain, but if I tell him --”

Dean shook his head. “It’s ok, Cas. I’ve been through worse than this, don’t let him get in your head.” He glared defiantly at Sam. “Bring it on, Sammy, I got an angel by my side and I ain’t afraid of you.”

Other Sam clearly took that as a challenge. He didn’t hold back on either of them, cutting, hitting, slicing. The more defiant they seemed, the more his rage grew and the pain inflicted worsened. Eventually he stopped trying to hurt Cas all together and focused his efforts on his brother. 

“Well, you two certainly are a pair, aren’t you? Too bad neither of you is a demon.” He stepped back, reaching out his hands and silently causing more pain with his demonic telepathy than the blade could ever bring. Other Dean screamed, struggling against his bonds, his veins felt like his blood was boiling and every inch of him was covered in white hot fire. 

Cas gritted his teeth, trying to block out the pain of the man next to him. He knew it wouldn’t be long before he broke down and told Sam what he needed. He didn’t know how much longer he could watch Dean suffer. But then, a voice from far away echoed in his mind. A prayer spoken in earnest, full of hope and surety. 

_Cas, you got your ears on? We’re on our way. Hold on, man, I’ll be there soon._

***

Castiel had not been human for a long time. A good few millenia. Possessing a human vessel again was a startling and strange experience. His vessel, Jimmy Novak, was a family man. He had a wife and a daughter in college. Jimmy had insisted Castiel promise his family would be safe, and asked to be safely returned to them when his mission was over; upon Castiel’s agreement, Jimmy said Yes. 

Dean Winchester was a known quantity to Castiel. He had been prophesied to play a role in an apocalyptic battle. But things had not gone according to plan, and try though they might, the angels had been unable to get the events in motion that must happen to bring about Judgement Day. Castiel was a soldier, he fought, he took orders and gave orders. He was an angel, obedience was key and he did not question the plans. 

Today he had heard Dean Winchester’s prayer, realizing immediately that this man was not in place. He was somehow on this earth even though he belonged on another. And he claimed that he and Castiel were friends. Perhaps where this Dean Winchester came from the Apocalypse had happened and they had fought together as soldiers. Castiel had heard the desperation in the man’s prayer, and without consulting his superiors he had went to answer it. 

Now, standing on Jimmy Novak’s porch, looking curiously at his vessel’s hands and clothes, Castiel began to question if he this was allowed. Answering prayers was a role that angels played, but Dean Winchester was asking something more. He was asking for a warrior to go into battle with him against a demon. Perhaps Castiel had acted too quickly, and should have consulted his superiors first. 

It was too late now. Castiel focused his thoughts on where he had heard the prayer. Dean Winchester himself seemed to be shielded by something that prevented Castiel from locating him. Castiel looked one last time at the Novak house, and then flew to Boston. 

Castiel landed on the sidewalk in front of a small colonial style house. He could sense this house as the origin of the prayer. The shades were drawn, and two cars were parked out front. Castiel suddenly felt unsure, how should he announce himself to Dean Winchester? It seemed a bit odd to just knock on the door, and yet he also didn’t want to draw attention to himself. Humanity was supposed to be oblivious to angels at least for now.

Castiel climbed onto the porch and opened the door, overpowering the lock easily. 

Two men were inside -- Samuel and Dean Winchester. Castiel surveyed them both -- trying to sense any harmful intent from them. They were both warded in some way, they stood like seasoned warriors, not yet reaching for weapons, but clearly aware how quickly they could draw them.

“Castiel?” Dean said. He looked -- happy? Relieved? Confused? Human emotions were complicated. 

Castiel nodded. “I heard your prayer, Dean Winchester. I have come to help you.”

“Thank you for coming, Castiel,” Sam said. 

Dean smiled at the angel, he came closer, clapping him on the shoulder. Castiel was surprised -- usually humans were so frightened, intimidated, or at least reverent of angels that they kept their distance. Dean seemed so relaxed and comfortable that Castiel felt uncomfortable. 

“Castiel, I know this must be weird, for you. When was the last time you were even on Earth?” Dean asked.

Castiel stiffened under Dean’s touch and the man seemed to take the hint and took a step back. “A few millenia. You are correct, this place is … strange. You said that you know me from another world, and you clearly don’t belong here. What happened? How did you come to be in this place?”

“It’s a long story,” Dean said. “The short version is that an angel sent us here, trying to keep us out of trouble while they deal with some stuff back home. But then other you, the Cas from our world, got captured by Sammy’s evil clone and we need your help to get him back. Oh, and we’re pretty sure my other self is also there. This Sammy,” he motioned at his brother, “totally harmless. He’s a good guy. The Sammy from this world is a big ol’ mess of trouble.”

Castiel nodded. “Yes, I have observed the unclean things your brother has partaken in.” Sam Winchester flinched at his words. “And thus far Heaven has decided not to intervene. I cannot guarantee his safety though, if I come with you now.”

Dean’s expression hardened, and he stepped slightly between Castiel and his brother. “Now, you listen to me on this, because I will only say it once. Sam, other creepy Sam, gets out alive. We can save him. It’s not negotiable.”

“He is evil,” Castiel stated. 

Dean shook his head. “He’s lost. He’s sick. He’s under the influence of a manipulative and powerful demon.” Dean seemed uncomfortable with what he was about to say. He glanced over at Sam who nodded. “Castiel, Sam, my Sam, this Sam, he was the same -- well, he was never this bad -- but he made some bad choices. He hurt some people. But you and I saved him. We brought him back from that darkness because that’s what you do for family.”

“I am not your family, Dean.”

“Maybe you aren’t. But Cas is. Other Sam gets out alive, and we knock some sense into him. Ruby, however, is fair game.”

Castiel met Dean Winchester’s hard gaze. The man seemed fearless, and a little too sure of himself, particularly considering to whom he was speaking. Castiel waited for Dean Winchester to look away, but the man met his stare and set his jaw. In the background Castiel thought he heard Sam Winchester mutter something like, “oh god, not again.”

“I serve heaven, Dean Winchester. I don’t serve man, and I certainly --”

“Don’t serve me?” Dean interrupted. “Yeah, yeah, I know. See, here’s the thing though, I know you, Castiel. I know what you were like when you first got to earth, and I know what you’re like after years fighting alongside humanity. Alongside us. You might have once have blindly followed Heaven’s orders, but you learned to think for yourself. You rebelled on multiple occasions. And you knew it was the right thing to do, every single time. You look into my eyes and tell me if I’m lying.” He took a step closer, they were inches apart. 

Castiel reached out a hand and gently touched Dean’s forehead, the man didn’t flinch. Castiel saw flashes of memories, he saw himself, he saw the Winchester boys. He saw Lucifer, Leviathan, monsters he had never imagined would get loose on humanity again. But he saw himself, fighting alongside them. He seemed … different, his demeanor softer and more relaxed. He was thinking for himself, no longer simply following orders. And he felt an emotional connection with the human before him. This was the most shocking and uncomfortable realization, and Castiel broke contact, stepping back. 

Dean Winchester held his ground. “Are you coming with us or not?”

Castiel took another step back, still reeling from the connection. He didn’t truly understand what he had seen, no, what he had felt. His other self clearly had a strong emotional tie to this human. But such things were not only forbidden, they were impossible. Human emotions were confusing, perplexing even … but an angel like him could never feel them. Could he?

“Cas?” Dean asked softly. The shortened form of his name, spoken so gently, so kindly. There was familiarity and intimacy in the way Dean said his name. 

Castiel forced his thoughts back to present. “Yes, I’ll go with you.” He looked over at the other Winchester brother. “And I will not kill the other Sam Winchester.” 

“Can you locate them?” Sam asked.

Castiel nodded. “I can fly us all there immediately.”

Dean smiled. “Let’s roll.”

Castiel heard the faintest prayer in the distance, he realized it was Dean Winchester praying silently to his other self. _Cas, you got your ears on? We’re on our way. Hold on, man, I’ll be there soon._

***

Dean hated flying. Funnily enough, since the angels had fallen, he hadn’t been flown anywhere and had forgotten the terrible feeling in his stomach that it caused. He prayed that Cas was ok, that he could hold on until Dean got to him. Castiel had assured him that Cas was still alive, but that did little to ease the tight feeling in his chest. 

Castiel was a weird reminder of who his friend used to be -- the stoic soldier, following orders and not asking questions -- but at least his wardrobe was upgraded. Unlike Cas, Castiel wore dark wash jeans, a gray button down, and a navy pullover sweater. He looked freakishly normal. Dean supposed Jimmy must have had upgraded his wardrobe in the past decade. 

They touched down outside an old house, Sam and Dean immediately drawing their weapons. Castiel gripped his angel blade and led the way. 

“Is it warded at all?” Dean asked.

Castiel shook his head. “You know a disturbing amount about angels,” he commented.

Dean shrugged. “Well, I’ve been hanging out with one for almost a decade. Something was bound to stick eventually.”

Castiel did not reply. He kicked open the door. The first floor of the house was empty. Dean cocked his head towards the staircase to the basement. The other two followed him down, weapons ready.

The moment Dean rounded the corner of the staircase he saw Other Sam and Ruby standing over Cas and Other Dean, both of whom were tied to chairs and covered in blood. Dean charged forward, Castiel and Sam behind him. Other Sam’s powers threw him across the room, but he jumped up again, in time to see Castiel face off with Other Sam, angelic powers meeting demonic. Sam was desperately freeing the hostages, and trying to hold Ruby at bay. 

Dean ran over to Cas. “Hey, we’re here. We’re gonna get you out of here.”

Cas smiled up at him. “It seems you brought a friend.”

Dean undid Cas’s shackles. “Yeah, the guy is kinda a dick though, maybe you can teach him --”

Dean’s body was hurled back again, and Ruby ran forward, grabbing Cas and vanishing.

“CAS!” Dean yelled.

Sam and Castiel had finally overpowered Other Sam, who was now lying unconscious. Other Dean was struggling to stand up. Dean looked around, there was no sign of Ruby or Cas. He kicked Other Sam in the gut, “Where is he?” he shouted.

“Dean!” three voices exclaimed.

Dean rounded on Castiel. “Wake him up. I need to --”

Castiel glared at him. “No.”

“Dammit, Castiel, wake him up.” He made to kick Other Sam again, but the angel held him back. 

“Dean Winchester, enough.” Castiel’s grip was tight and Dean eventually stopped struggling. “We will find where the blonde demon took Cas, but right now we need to put this Sam somewhere safe so he can’t escape until you can … cure him.”

“The panic room,” Sam said quietly. 

Dean nodded.

“The what?” Other Dean asked.

“Our Bobby Singer has a panic room that is demon proof, ghost proof, etc. I’m sure this Bobby built one too. It’s secure,” Dean explained. “Both Sammy and I have locked each other up there at some point. We put him in there, he won’t escape.”

Other Dean grinned. “And I thought _my_ relationship with my brother was weird.”

“Castiel, can you take us there?”

The angel looked offended Dean would even ask. He sighed heavily. “Yes, Dean Winchester, I can.”

***

Bobby Singer in this world was the same, gruff yet soft at heart, old man that the boys remembered. He and Mary Winchester had met years ago and hunted together many times, but Other Dean had only met the man a handful of times. It took about fifteen minutes of salt, holy water, and other tests to assure the old hunter that the two sets of identical Winchester boys, plus their dark haired friend claiming to be an angel, were all legit. 

Dean was so happy to see Bobby, and it killed him that the man didn’t share the same enthusiasm. 

“Well, I guess if you have to lock him up somewhere, the panic room is as good as anything,” Bobby reluctantly agreed. “But I’m only doing this for your mother, boy, you still got a lot of explaining to do.”

“I will. I’ll tell you, well I’ll probably tell you more than I should.” Dean helped Sam carry Other Sam down into the basement, securing the door tightly. Dean looked at his brother. “You ok?”

Sam seemed surprised for a moment at the question and then nodded. “Yeah, I dunno. It’s weird, seeing myself like that.”

“Sammy, just, be easy on yourself ok? That’s not you in that room. You got yourself out. You got yourself clean. Don’t get lost thinking that it’s you in that room, ok?” Sam nodded and Dean pulled him into a brief hug. “It’s weird being back here, isn’t it?”

They came back upstairs and were met by the expectant faces of Castiel, Bobby, and Other Dean -- who was now cleaned up and healed thanks to Castiel. The boys exchanged a look. And then they told everyone the whole story.

When they finished the room was silent for a long moment. 

“We have to find Cas,” Dean said. “And we have to find a way to stop Ruby.”

“By stop, you mean kill?” Other Dean asked.

“Her endgame is the freaking apocalypse. You’re damn right I want her dead.”

“I have been unable to locate them,” Castiel said. “They may be warded in some way.”

“What about Sam?” Other Dean asked. 

“He’s a lot farther gone than you ever were, Sammy, I don’t know if detox this way will help him or actually kill him,” Dean said. 

Sam nodded. “I know. I’m gonna keep an eye on him.”

“Sam --”

“Dean, I promise. I’m ok. Who better to help him than someone who’s already gone through this? Meantime, Bobby, any idea where our Mom is?” Sam asked. “Maybe she can help with Sam.”

Bobby shrugged. “I’m not sure, kid. I haven’t heard from her in a few weeks, but that don’t mean she’s in trouble. Your mother was never the best at checking in. More like she’ll show up in the nick of time and save your ass when you need it. I’ll make some calls.”

“Sam, I’ll help you find Mom,” Other Dean said. “I’ve tried all her numbers but they’re not working, so I’ll also reach out to some people.”

Sam smiled. “Thanks.”

Other Dean smiled back at him, it had been too long since he and Sam had done anything together. Even if this wasn’t his Sam, well, it was still Sam. 

They dispersed, Castiel looking eagerly through Bobby’s collection of books. Sam went to check on his other self. Dean and Other Dean ended up alone in the living room.

“You ok man?” Dean asked. “Looked like he hurt you pretty bad.”

Other Dean shrugged. “I’ve been through worse. Besides, that angel friend of yours fixed me up pretty good.”

“I meant --”, where was Sam, he was much better at the whole connecting-feelings-thing. Dean felt genuinely concerned about his other self, and he was afraid in trying to reach the guy he’d just screw it up. 

“Wow, you’re a piece of work. Standing there, uncomfortable with even saying aloud that you’re worried about my emotional state after my brother tied me up and tortured me.” Other Dean shook his head. “What happened to you man?”

“You know, you might be more in touch with your feelings, but you’re still a dick.”

“Never said I wasn’t.”

“So,” Dean prompted. “How are you doing with everything? I can’t imagine that was a normal day on the job for you. So, are you ok?”

“Wasn’t the first time it happened.”

“What? You told me you hadn’t seen Sam in five years.”

“That’s true. I haven’t seen Sam in five years. Because it’s been five years since … I don’t know how it started. But I tried to bring him back, and I failed. About once a year I track him down, reach out to him --” Other Dean looked aimlessly around, finally he met Dean’s eyes. “And once a year, I try to save him. I do. And he hurts me, and reminds me how much he likes being lost, and we go our separate ways.”

Dean needed to sit down. 

“And you think _I’m_ the screw up here?” 

Other Dean shrugged. “Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re thinking --”

“Do you?” Dean rounded on him, closing the space between them. “You think I’m messed up? You let your brother torture you once a year? And what, call it a family reunion? He’s hopped up on demon blood, so high he barely remembers who he is, he’s barely human, and you let him cut you? You act like you’re so well put together, and emotionally stable, and perfectly normal, but you’re --. What the hell is wrong with you?!”

“I’m --”

“What, trying to reach him? You think …” it suddenly hit him, “you think you can get through to him, don’t you? That if you’re in enough pain or you’re hurt bad enough, he’ll break down and recognize you, that you’ll be able to turn him back.” Now he really needed to sit down. Dean parked himself on the edge of Bobby’s couch, unsure how to process all this. 

“You said you make sacrifices for family,” Other Dean said, sitting across from him on a chair. “This is my sacrifice. I can’t save Sam, I’ve tried. So most of the time I just go about life. Because I have to. Because the world isn’t going to end if I teach and work and live a normal life instead chasing down my half crazy demon brother. Maybe you can do it. You’ve been trained to do it. You’re a warrior, you’ve been molded to be so much tougher. But I can’t.” His voice caught and he looked close to tears. “I can’t save him, Dean. I can’t.”

Dean nodded slowly. He watched his clone rub his eyes and try to hide it all -- a motion he did so often himself.

“I’ll help you. Hell, I’ve pulled that kid out of the fire more times than I can count. We’ll save Sam, ok?”

They suddenly heard Sam and Castiel’s raised voices from the basement. It was hard to make out the words, but it sounded like they were fighting about what to do with Other Sam. Bobby sounded like he was playing referee, or just trying to give Other Sammy some food. 

“Castiel from my world seems very different than your Cas.”

“He’s not _my_ Cas,” Dean felt the need to interject. Other Dean smirked at him. “What?”

“You’re kidding, right?”

Dean glared at him.

“You’re deluding yourself. Are you crazy? Or you’re an idiot. Ohh, is this back to your whole ‘I’m straight’ thing?”

Dean looked away. 

“Oh my god.” Other Dean threw his hands up in exasperation. “You’re so far --. What is your problem, do you like pretending to be someone you’re not? Have you been paying attention, it’s the twenty-first freaking century, and you’re what, worried about whether the 1990s would consider you a man?”

“Look, why are you insistent that --”

“I am you! I know you, and while you might have hidden your real self down deep, and I mean, _Journey to the Center of the Earth_ deep, we are still the same.”

Dean shrugged. “It doesn’t matter, ok? Even if … even if you’re right… I’m not you, ok? You had a husband, and a house, and a white picket fence. Not me. I’ve known that for a long time now. That’s not my life, it’s never going to be. You’re the respectable professor who gets married and has a relationship that isn’t torn apart by monsters. Or lies. God, there have been so many...and I, I’m to blame too. I just … It’s not me, ok? I’m not cut out for a life with a husband or a boyfriend. I would ruin Cas, ok? I would, I would let him down, I would hurt him. I can barely take care of Sammy, and I can’t risk Cas --. I’m not --”

“What? You’re not worthy of happiness? Of being with someone who clearly loves you? What the hell did John Winchester do to you, exactly? How badly did he screw you up that you’re like this? What sort of garbage did he drill into that you’ve been repeating to yourself for all these years? No, I’m serious,” he kept going even as Dean tried to cut him off. “How do you live with yourself? How do you get up in the morning and not feel completely worthless? How do you --”

“What makes you think I don’t?” Dean said quietly. His voice was barely above a whisper. He looked down at the ground, refusing to make eye contact with his counterpart. 

Other Dean said nothing.

“I get out of bed in the morning for one reason: to kill monsters and keep the world safe, ok? That’s it. That’s who I am. You happy now? You got me to admit I have nothing in this world except this job.”

Other Dean moved to sit next to him on the couch. “That’s bullshit, and you know it. You’re refusing to let yourself be happy, and you know that too. Probably because you’re afraid that once you’re happy, someone can take it away, and you think you’ll feel worse than if you never had it at all. But life isn’t like that. Take it from someone who both loved and lost; I wouldn’t trade a moment of what we had, just because he’s no longer here.”

“But Cas --”

“Cas protected me,” Other Dean interrupted. “Sam was torturing me because he realized that was Cas’s weakness. And to be honest, I think he would have given in eventually if you hadn’t turned up. I saw the pain in his eyes while Sam was cutting into me, it hurt him worse than his own injuries. It didn’t even matter that I’m not the right Dean. He loves you so much he didn’t even want to see me hurt. So you can keep denying it, you can keep telling yourself you’re a worthless piece of shit. … But I don’t see it. And neither does your brother, who clearly loves you and looks up to you. And neither does Cas. He’s a freaking Angel and he thinks you’re worth saving. He thinks you’re worth loving.”

Dean only then registered the silent tears on his cheeks. He didn’t brush them away. 

“Dad caught me with a boy in high school,” Dean said softly. “He made it clear --.” He shrugged the thought off. 

“He’s not here, Dean. In either of our worlds. Look, I know that you knew him a lot better than I did, but you’re letting him dictate your life and he’s not even here.”

“You didn’t know him at all.”

“Does he really deserve that kind of power over your life?” Other Dean pressed on. 

“Shut up.”

“Do you agree with him?”

“Stop.”

“Do you really think your life’s goal is to kill monsters and protect your brother?”

“I said --”

“Are you even a person under there? Or are you just the ghost of John Winchester?”

“Stop it.”

“If your mom were here, would she even respect what you’ve let him do to you?”

“SHUT UP!” 

Dean turned, ready to punch the other man in the mouth, but Other Dean caught his wrist and held it. They stared at each other for a long moment. Dean struggled, but eventually gave up. He knew Other Dean was right. He had been having this same fight with himself every day. He was too tired to fight any more. 

Dean crumpled over, his hands barely holding up his head, and his elbows resting on his knees.

“Ok, crazy-town, it’s ok.” Other Dean wrapped a comforting arm around his shoulders and leaned against him. Dean’s body shook. “I know you want to be a million miles from here. But it’s ok.”

“We have to find him,” Dean said, his voice raw. 

Other Dean nodded. “We will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, that was a lot of angst, thanks for reading it. (The scene of Other Dean lecturing Dean was the original idea from which the whole story stemmed.) New characters in the next chapter. :)


	7. Detox

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Other Sam begins detoxing the demon blood from his system. Sam tries to knock some sense into him. And Castiel makes a choice that pisses everyone off.

Sam walked down the creaky steps to Bobby’s basement, his confidence shaking with each step. He took a deep breath at the bottom. He could do this. 

Bobby, Dean, and even the new Castiel were concerned about him confronting his strung-out demon-blood-junkie self. Other Dean seemed to vacillate between not wanting to look at him and seeing Sam as a saint -- based on what he could tell about their doppels’ relationship, this wasn’t surprising. 

Sam opened the door of the cell, cautiously stepping inside. The other Sam was chained to the wall, sitting on the bed, leaning against the wall. His eyes were closed, but he spoke when Sam entered.

“So, come to break me out, or do I have to suffer through another sermon about how you can save me?”

Sam pulled a chair up, sitting far enough back that he was out of reach. “Neither. Came to see how you’re doing.”

Other Sam opened his eyes. “You’re still sore about the whole knocking you out and kidnapping your angel thing, are you? Because it wasn’t personal. You just happened to hand me a golden opportunity.”

“Have the chills started? Or the hallucinations?” Sam asked. He remembered too well the physical pain of detoxing demon blood.

“What is this, demon rehab?” Other Sam was hiding it well, but there was a line of sweat on his forehead and he occasionally rubbed his arms as though cold. 

“Exactly. And I’ve been through this, so I --”

“Know what I’m going through?” Other Sam mocked. “Right, right. You’re such a saint, you conquered everything and saved yourself and blah blah blah.”

Sam ignored the taunt. “How did you meet Ruby?” 

“Why, no hot demon ladies in your world?”

“Where did you meet her?” Sam pressed on.

Other Sam shrugged. “Around.”

“And she told you about what Azazel did, showed you how to use your powers?”

“Something like that,” Other Sam said, disinterested. 

“What about Dean? What about Mom?”

“What about them?”

“Did they try to stop you? Did you realize how badly you might be hurting them?”

“Newsflash, Mr 12 Steps, life is never that simple. Second, stop me? They barely noticed. Dean was too busy playing house and pretending to be normal, and Mom was off training the next generation hunters, or whatever her savior mission was.” He smirked. “You know what she’s like -- protective of her own kids, but who cares if you put someone else’s in danger.”

“Well, then I guess you’re lucky to be here,” Sam said. 

“Really, how do you figure that?”

“Because I am the only person who knows what you’re going through, and how bad it’s gonna get. And maybe I’m the only person in the whole world who gives a fuck, but I am not giving up on you.”

“Wow, that’s really big of you.”

Sam smiled. “Keep it up,” he said. “Keep pretending that you’re fine and snarky and all that. I know you’re doing it to hide the fact that you know you’re trapped. And you know you’re not gonna do well once there’s no blood around. And maybe, deep down you actually know that you want my help.”

Other Sam chuckled. “Is that right? Ok then.”

“Yes, it is.”

“Sam, I need to speak to the prisoner,” Casiel announced, opening the cell. 

“Can it wait?”

“No. I need to know where his demon friend took Cas.”

Other Sam glared at the angel. “Yeah, good luck with that. I’m not exactly in a sharing mood.”

Castiel crossed the room and placed his hand on Other Sam’s head. “I wasn’t planning to ask you.”

Other Sam struggled, but Cas’s grip on him was strong. Castiel closed his eyes, and his face scrunched up like he was having difficulty. Eventually he stepped back, looking annoyed.

“Cas?” Sam asked.

“He doesn’t know. Ruby did not tell him.”

Other Sam shrugged. “You wouldn’t have believed me if I told you that.”

“Sam Winchester, a word please?” Castiel left the cell, leaving Sam no choice but to follow. Outside, Castiel lowered his voice. “I do believe that he has other information that could help us find them. However, right now his mind is too muddled and too strong. He’s too … demonic.”

The word stung, but Sam only nodded. “It took days for me to get it all out of my system.”

“There are … other ways I could take the information from him.”

“No.” Other Dean had come downstairs while they were talking and had planted himself in front of the door. “You’re not torturing my brother. I don’t care how much of a dick he is.”

“Your judgement is clouded,” Castiel said dismissively. 

“Damn right it is. And the answer is still no.”

Sam stepped in. “His mind should be weaker in a day or so, once he’s detoxing his mental defenses will be lower.”

“Do you truly believe we have that long?” Castiel asked.

“Please, Castiel, just, give me some time with him. Maybe I can get through.”

The angel looked annoyed and then vanished.

“Thanks,” Other Dean said. “I appreciate what you’re doing for him.”

“I haven’t done anything yet,” Sam said. He looked at the doppel of his brother, who was once again avoiding eye contact. “Hey, you don’t have to be here. If this is too hard --”

“‘course I have to be here, he’s --”

“You’ve been with Dean too long,” Sam said kindly. “And it can’t be easy for you, not after he’s hurt you. I uh, I’m sorry, I overheard some of your conversation with Dean before, and also, thanks for knocking some sense into him.” Other Dean smiled at him. “But, I’m getting the sense that being around me might be hard. And I get it, no hard feelings. Just, be gentle on yourself.”

“I’m sorry, I know you’re not him … But it’s just. I haven’t really had my brother in five years, so seeing you and the other me, it’s hard. You’re friends, you trust each other, you have each other’s backs in a fight. You’re, uh, brothers.”

Sam gave him a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry.”

“Can I see him?”

“He’s uh, I don’t know if you’ll want to. He’s pretty angry right now. And kinda a dick.”

“Sounds like Sam.” Other Dean opened the cell door and entered, Sam hanging back a little behind him.

“Oh, hey big brother. Come to finish our session? Looks like someone patched you up pretty nicely.”

Other Dean sat in the chair, giving him a visual once over. “You’re sweating,’” he commented. “And it’s cold in here. So that means you’re starting to feel the effects of withdrawal. Sam over there tells me that what’s coming for you isn’t gonna be any kind of pleasant. And I have too much self-respect to sit here and watch you suffer for your piss poor choices.” He caught Other Sam’s eye. “But I will be there for you on the other side. When you get this shit out of your system and you start thinking and acting like a human being again, I will be there. My brother is still in there under all the layers of you and when he claws his way out of your pathetic demon ass, I will welcome him back, you hear?”

Other Sam was shaking, and sweat was coating his forehead. He tried to keep his voice defiant. “Yeah, ok. And when I get out of these chains, I’ll just kill you this time.”

Other Dean stood up, walking dangerously close to his brother and laid a hand on his shoulder. “I will come back for my brother. I’m not giving up on you, Sammy.” He turned and left the cell without a word.

Sam waited in the doorway for a long moment, watching to see if Dean’s words had any effect on his doppel. Other Sam glared at him, and then looked at the floor, and then closed his eyes, leaning back against the wall and rubbing his hands against his arms again. Sam knew there was not much he could do for the physical part of the man’s suffering -- the hallucinations and dreams might start soon -- and until the doppel realized the gravity of the situation, he couldn’t reach him. With a sigh, Sam closed the panic room door, locking it tight behind him.

He climbed the stairs, ignoring the cries of pain he heard from the cell. 

***

Hours passed, Other Sam was deep into the trembling and screaming. Sam watched him through the window of the door, occasionally going in to wake him from a nightmare. 

The Deans, Castiel and Bobby tried desperately to track down Mary, and to find Cas and Ruby. No one was getting anywhere and a feeling of defeat was hovering over them. Castiel, grumpy with their lack of progress, went to interrogate Other Sam again, but the man was too far into his nightmarish dreams to pull anything useful from his mind. Frustrated, Castiel vanished. 

Hour fifteen and Dean was getting restless, angry at the slow progress. “If we don’t find him soon, Ruby could kill Cas.” 

Escaping the tension upstairs, Sam headed into the panic room to check on Other Sam. 

His doppelwas shaking, curled up in the bed. He barely looked at Sam when he came in. His voice was weak as he tried to make a jibe, “Come to gloat? Feel better seeing me like this?”

Sam placed a cool rag on his forehead, his doppel trying to resist, but only for a moment. “I’m not torturing you,” Sam said. “You’re gonna get through this.”

“Yeah, and then what?” 

“Then you put your life back together. You fix the things you fucked up. And maybe, if you’re lucky, the people you hurt will trust you again. I’m not saying it’s easy, but you heard Dean, he’s not giving up on you.”

Other Sam was trying so hard to maintain the angry facade he’d built up. “So where is he now? Oh right, he left.”

“He left because you tortured him, because you’ve hurt him. You did that. And it’s one of the things you’ll have to make up for.”

“You really it’s that easy?” Other Sam pushed himself up into a sitting position. “Even if that were true, that my brother is coming back, it doesn’t matter. I’m a monster.”

“You don’t have to be.”

“I do. I am. It’s all I’ve ever been.”

 

“Not before the demon blood, though, right? You were a hunter once, and a lawyer. And a good man. You can get that back.”

Other Sam shook his head. “No, it’s over, don’t you get that? There’s no fixing … what I’ve done … Mom, and Dean … and everyone. It’s too much. I can’t go back.”

Sam glared at him. “See, you know what the problem is? You started down this road, and you knew you screwed up. So you tried to fix it. And when that failed, you started to think there was no fixing it, and so that gave you a free pass to do whatever. Because you’re past saving, right? You’ve dug yourself so far down this hole that you don’t think you can ever redeem yourself.”

Other Sam looked away.

Sam continued, “But that’s not how it works. You don’t get a free pass to be evil just because you’re too lazy to be good. You don’t get to cop out like that. No one is ever beyond saving.”

“After everything I’ve done--”

“I don’t care,” Sam grabbed his shoulders, forcing the other man to look at him. “You’re still worth saving. But not if you don’t want to.”

“I don’t want to. I’ll never want to.” His voice grew with resolve. “Never. I’m never going to be redeemed, so why don’t you just kill me?”

Sam shook his head. 

“I’ll get out of here. You’ll think I’m cured, but I won’t be. I’ll still be the same twisted, evil thing I am now, so why not kill me? I’ll break out of here and kill you, and Dean and your Dean, and hell maybe even that damn angel. And then I’ll hunt down your mom and kill her too. You can’t stop me, Sam, you can’t. The only way you’ll ever stop me is to kill me!”

Sam came closer, hesitantly reaching out. “I know what you’re trying to do, and it won’t work.”

Other Dean’s voice was desperate and breaking as he continued, “I’ll kill them. I’ll torture them. I’ll make your brother beg for mercy and death’s release. I’ll cut into him so deep, I’ll make the pain last for days. I’ll make him scream and cry. You can’t stop me, none of you can. You should just kill me, kill me, Sam! Just kill me! Please, please kill me.” He was breaking, and all Sam could do was watch. “Just kill me Sam! Make it stop, please just kill me.”

Sam looked at him in pity. There was only one thing he could do to put the man out of this misery. He smashed his fist hard into Other’s Sam’s face, knocking him unconscious and hopefully granting him a few hours respite from this dark room. 

***  
Sam was dozing on Bobby’s couch, when he was suddenly awoken by Dean slamming his hand down in frustration. “We’re gettin nowhere. It’s been almost 24 hours since Ruby took Cas. He’s probably dead by now and we have jack shit on finding her. Our spells don’t work, Bobby’s contacts are useless, someone please, please give me some good news.”

Castiel appeared as he was speaking. “I have information. The demon Ruby is trying to find Lilith to cause a chain reaction that will jumpstart the apocalypse. She has performed countless spells on herself in order to remain hidden from angelic eyes, which is why Heaven was unaware of what she was planning. These spells wear off and she has to redo them every week or so, her supplier for the ingredients is a demon named Crowley.”

Sam and Dean exchanged a look. “Great,” Dean muttered. “Not fucking again.”

“Like, King of Hell, Crowley?” Sam asked.

Castiel looked at him like he was stupid. “No, he’s merely a crossroads demon. Hell does not have a monarchy.”

“How did you get all this information, anyway?” Bobby asked. “We’ve been busting our heads for hours and suddenly you have a crystal ball?”

“If we find this demon, we should be able to get a location or a way to find Ruby from him,” Castiel said, ignoring the question.

Dean looked at him hard. There was something the angel wasn’t telling them. “Castiel, how you find all this out?”

“I pulled the information from Sam Winchester’s mind.”

Sam stood up, moving closer. “You said his brain was too scrambled from detox. You said his thoughts were unreadable. I was down there. Three hours ago he was begging me to kill him because of the pain, and an hour ago he was so out of it he was rolling on the floor choking on his own spit. Suddenly his brain is what, unscrambled?”

Castiel said nothing. 

“What did you do, Castiel?” Dean asked, his voice soft and dangerous.

Castiel rounded on him. “I did what had to be done, Dean Winchester. This is not just about finding your lost lover nor getting revenge for torturing your doppelganger. This is about stopping a demon from beginning world ending events.”

“Ok, slow down there, holy roller. First, Cas is not my lover. Yet.” Dean ignored everyone’s reactions. “Second. I could care less about revenge. You think I don’t want to stop the apocalypse? Hell, I lived through that shit because you and your pack of flying monkeys jump-started the damn thing and then stood by and watched the world burn. I will do anything it takes to stop that from happening here. But we can’t work together if I can’t trust you, so answer Sam’s question.”

“I did what had to be done in order to obtain information,” Castiel said again. 

Sam suddenly realized the only way the angel could have gotten the information. Only one way a man as physically and mentally messed up as Other Sam was could have become coherent enough to give it over. He felt ill at the thought of it. Before he could think about it, Sam charged at Castiel, slamming the angel against the wall. 

“You gave him blood, didn’t you?” he demanded. “Didn’t you?!”

Castiel pushed Sam off easily. “Like I said, Sam Winchester, I did what had to be done.”

Sam hurled himself down the stairs, willing it not to be true. After all that pain, after he had just started to think he had connected with his doppel, when the worst of the pain was about to be over ... and that fucking angel had dosed him. Castiel had used his weakness and his blinding desire for a fix in order to bribe the information out of him. 

Sam opened up the cell, and stopped dead in his tracks. The chains were loose, hanging useless on the wall. The cell was empty.


	8. Search and Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel and Dean rush to save Cas from Ruby.

“A car is not the logical way to get there,” Castiel commented.

Dean glared at him from the driver’s seat. “After that stunt you pulled, you don’t get a vote. You’re just lucky I didn’t let Sammy hurt you.”

“Your brother could not have inflicted injury on me,” Castiel replied. 

“Agree to disagree. Just be grateful I brought you along.”

“You’re still angry at me?”

“Dammit Cas, yes I am still angry. Sam was making progress. You didn’t have dose him. You shouldn’t have.”

“Are you usually this angry with the Castiel that you know?”

Dean chuckled at that. “Sometimes. Especially when he first got to earth. But he changed,” Dean added. “He became, I dunno, he became one of us. More human, but also more Winchestery.”

“What do you mean?”

“He started thinking it was his job to save the world. He would lie to us to protect us. He made the wrong choices for the right reasons and he got himself into loads of trouble. He still does.”

“And this is a quality that you admire?” Castiel asked. 

Dean looked over at him. “No! Maybe. I don’t know. It’s not like we need another Winchester running around making trouble, but I dunno, his heart is always in the right place.”

“And this is why you love him?” Castiel asked. 

Dean jumped a little at the question. “Ok, that’s twice in three hours you say shit like that, so let me clear it up. Cas and I aren’t together.”

“I don’t understand.”

“What isn’t there to understand? We’re not a couple. We’re uh, we’re just not, um, we’re …”

Castiel cocked his head to the side. “Are all interpersonal relationships in your life this complicated and indescribable?”

“No, just with Cas.”

 

“Dean Winchester, I don’t know if Castiel has ever told you this, but we hear accidental prayers and sense strong feelings.”

“Ok man, you gotta stop with the whole full-name thing, it’s freaking me out. Second. What do you mean?”

“You radiate a sense of longing and desire when you speak about Cas. I felt it the first time I met you, it was strongest when you were in the basement room trying to save him, and even now I feel it. It’s like, it’s like a warm radiation seeping off of you; it both emanates from and envelopes your body. And if I can feel it, then I guarantee you that _your Cas,_ the one you claim not to be romantically involved with, that Cas can definitely feel these things. Every time you are together he would be able to feel the love and longing flowing off of you.”

Dean tried to shrug it off. “Well, he’s never said anything. So maybe you’re just more astute --”

“I’m certain his powers of observation are as attuned as my own. We are the same, after all.”

“Ha, you’re nothing like him, but ok. And if this is true, why has Cas never at said anything about it?”

Castiel considered for a moment. He did a once over on the hunter. “Is it possible that you have indicated to him, intentionally or not, that you would be uncomfortable with such a relationship?”

Dean was silent. In his mind he replayed the night before they came to bizarro Earth. He and Cas had been so close to actually admitting --, to actually saying something. He mentally kicked himself as he remembered his own words to Cas, _I wouldn’t be any good at it._ Of course Cas hadn’t said anything, the angel knew him better than anyone, maybe even better than he knew himself. Cas knew all the negative shit that played through Dean’s mind, and all the shit that John had drilled into him all his life. So he had said nothing. He had waited for Dean to figure himself out. And on the night they had finally gotten close, Dean had once again shut it down.

He needed to get Cas back. 

“Accidental prayers are a powerful thing,” Castiel said suddenly. “Humans often say them when they are too scared to say something aloud. But an angel would hear it.” He looked at Dean, as though willing the man to understand him.

Dean nodded. “Thanks, Castiel.”

***

They spray painted a devil’s trap on the crossroads. Dean buried the box and said the incantation. Castiel stood, invisible, to his side. They waited.

“Hello, what have we here?” a familiar voice said. Dean turned to see Crowley standing there. The demon looked down at the trap, and then up at the human. “You know, I don’t think you quite get how this is supposed to work.”

“Oh trust me, I do Crowley. But change of plan, because today I need information. Which you’re going to give me, or I’m going to kill you.”

“Oooh, such a flirt. I think I’m gonna like you. What’s your name, boy?”

“Dean Winchester.”

Crowley smiled. “Winchester? Like related to my favorite fallen human? You know, your brother isn’t really the picture of sanity all the time, but he is good a laugh. But you came to make a deal, so let’s deal.” 

“Oh, there’s a deal alright. Information in exchange for your life. Here’s how this is going to to down: I know you’re Ruby’s supplier for whatever freaky stuff she needs for her spells. You’re going to give me a way to locate that bitch. And you’re gonna do it now.”

“Really? And why would I do that?”

Dean smirked. “Because I know you, Crowley. And if there’s one thing you’re good at, it’s self preservation. I’d even say you’re the King of it. And right now you don’t want to die. So you’re going to give me what I want.”

“You think just because you have me stuck in this circle that I’ll do whatever you want? I’m a businessman, I make deals. I sell, you buy. You don’t want to buy, then I have nothing to sell. You might have me trapped, but you’re nothing, Dean Winchester.”

“Oh, I didn’t come alone.”

Castiel appeared, his angel blade placed firmly against Crowley’s throat, his grace glowing inside and emanating from him. 

“You brought an angel to a demon deal?” Crowley said incredulously. “I was right, I do like you, boy.”

“Tell us where to find Ruby and I won’t carve your heart out,” Castiel said.

“Alright, alright. Here.” He pulled a scrap of paper from his hand. “You can find her here. Well, call off your attack dog. A deal is a deal. I keep my bargains, do you?”

“Let him go,” Dean said. 

Castiel stepped back, taking the paper. “We should kill him.”

Dean shook his head. “He’s harmless, he’s just a lame crossroads demon. He can’t do any real harm from here, trust me.”

Castiel looked like he was about to argue, but decided not to. He waved his hand over a part of the Devil’s Trap and some of the paint disappeared. “If I see you again demon, I will kill you.”

“I do hope you try, this has been fun.” Crowley disappeared.

***

“This is it.”

“It’s warded,” Castiel said, looking at the building. 

“Then how did she get you, other you, inside?”

“She must have broken one of the wardings just enough to bring him in, but replaced it once inside.”

“Ok, so we can do the same.” Dean pulled a can of spray-paint out and started on the walls of the abandoned school. He was halfway done with the third sigil when Castiel told him it was enough to enter. The angel lay his hand on Dean’s shoulder and suddenly they were inside. 

Weapons out, they crept through the hallways of the old building. They saw a light down a corridor and followed it to what might have been a library. Dean peeked through the window of the door and nodded to Castiel. Inside he could see Cas, chained down to a large table. 

They charged in, Castiel’s grace flooding the room -- Dean even saw the silhouette of his wings on the walls. Ruby fought back, but she was no match for both of them. Much as it pained him, Dean made no effort to free Cas -- as long as he was tied down with warded chains, Ruby could not kidnap him again. They had to defeat her this time. Dean kept on attacking as Castiel’s power drained her. The angel eventually got close enough to lay his hand on her forehead, smiting her as her eyes burned away and screamed. 

“Cas!” Dean rushed over to the table. Casl was in bad shape -- his injuries were far worse than when they’d seen him yesterday. His body was cut, bruised, burned and scraped. This was not just torture for information. This had been for fun. Dean felt sick as he quickly undid the bindings on Cas. 

“Come on, please wake up, Cas, please,” he whispered, cradling Cas’s head gently in his hands. Please, please be ok. Please come back. 

Castiel joined him, laying a hand carefully on Cas’s forehead. “He is badly injured, if we had not gotten here now, she may have killed him. As it is, I don’t know --.”

“You don’t know what?” Dean demanded.

“The fight with Ruby took much of my strength, and I haven’t fully recharged from it. I can heal some of his more serious injuries, but I don’t know if it will be enough. He is --, he’s broken Dean. He is damaged in ways that I may not be able to repair. I just don’t have the strength.”

Dean ignored the tears threatening to spill from his eyes. No, it couldn’t be. He couldn’t get this close, just to lose Cas. He couldn’t. There had to be a way. Any way. Whatever he had to do, he would do it.

“Use me,” Dean said softly.

Castiel looked at him, confused. 

“You need power, right? And the human soul can act like a battery for angels, right? Bobby did it once, Sam did it. Use me to get the power you need.”

“Dean --”

“I’m doing what has to be done, dammit, just use me.”

Castiel stared at him for a long moment, perhaps to confirm he was serious. Finally he nodded. He rolled up his sleeve, and placed his other hand on Cas’s chest. 

“This will hurt,” Castiel warned. 

And it did hurt. Like, a LOT. Dean bit back a scream as Castiel’s siphoned energy from his soul. His entire body screamed, his blood was boiling and his head was going to explode. White hot energy glowed in Dean, then Castiel and finally, surrounded Cas. The angel’s body twitched as the internal damage was healed. Finally, just as Dean was sure he would blackout from the pain, it stopped.

Dean gasped and collapsed on the ground beside the table. Castiel looked ready to do the same, but he held himself up, leaning on the table. Above him, Dean heard Cas stir.

“Where am I? What happened?”

 

“Lie still, brother, your vessel is badly injured and much of your grace is drained,” Castiel directed.

“Ruby is here --”

“Nope, she’s dead,” Dean added from his spot on the ground. 

“Dean?”

“I’m here, Cas.” Before he could overthink it, Dean reached his right hand up to the table and grasped Cas’s hand. “I’m here. Thanks for staying alive and all.”

Cas squeezed his hand. “Are you alright?”

Dean smiled. Some things never changed. “Yeah, Cas. I am now.”

“If you two are done,” Castiel interrupted. “We should return to Bobby Singer’s house. You will both need time to recover from this operation.” He lifted Dean to his feet, helped Cas sit up, and grasped them both. With a rush of wind, they were back at the car. “I don’t have the strength to fly us home,” he explained, helping both of them into the front of the car, before collapsing in the backseat. 

Dean started the car and headed back towards Bobby’s. After a few moments he glanced over at Cas, who looked pained. Dean’s heart ached seeing him like that, he’d seen Cas hurt too many times. 

“Cas? You ok?”

“No. Castiel fixed the most serious damage to my body, but I am still in quite a lot of pain. I don’t know how he even managed to do that much, I was basically dead.”

“He didn’t think he could at first,” Dean said. “So I made him use my soul as a boost of energy.”

Cas looked alarmed. “Dammit Dean, that is very dangerous, you could have --”

“I know, but it’s you,” Dean interrupted. 

“Thank you, Dean. It was reckless, but thank you.”

“I couldn’t let you die, Cas. It’s you.”

Cas shifted closer to him on the seat. “What are we, Dean?”

Dean kept his eyes fixed on the road. 

“The other night, you said…” Cas couldn’t sort out what he was saying. “That night on the couch. You said that you wouldn’t be good at this, but you are, Dean, you’re already doing it. You’ve saved me, again. So what are you afraid of failing at?”

Dean wanted to punch Gabriel in the face right now. Had the angel sent to the land of Everyone Makes Dean Talk about His Inner Fears and Doubts? What the hell was wrong with this place?

“Dean? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, I just want to understand.” Cas looked at him, imploringly. 

Dean reached over to Cas, pulling the angel against his side. Cas leaned into the embrace, laying his head on Dean’s shoulder. 

“I don’t know, Cas,” Dean said softly. “I’m trying to sort it all out, ok? I just … I need you be patient with me, please. Everyone, the other me, the other Cas, everyone has been trying to get through to me in the past two days and I just, I need to process it, ok?” He squeezed the angel’s shoulder. “Please don’t give up on me yet, I just need to figure it out.”

Cas nodded, closing his eyes and relaxing against Dean. “I won’t. I’m not going anywhere, Dean.”

“Are you comfortable?” Dean asked. 

“Very much so,” Cas answered, his voice sleepy and soft. “Your body radiates a very pleasant warmth.”

Any other day, Dean would have thought that comment was simply Cas’s odd way of speaking. After his car ride with Castiel though, he understood it in a whole new light. 

Dean took a deep breath and focused for a moment on every pleasant memory and feeling he had about Cas. He poured it all into his mind’s focus, hoping the positive feelings would add to what Castiel had described as the warmth of longing the angel could feel on him.

Based on the soft gasp and subsequent sigh that Cas made against his shoulder, it worked. Dean smiled at the angel. He needed to get himself sorted out. He had to. For Cas’s sake.


	9. Come Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Dean2 team up with Mary to save Sam2 from himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's taken so long to update. I'm uploading the rest of the story tonight!

Sam drove, Other Dean rode shotgun, and Bobby was coordinating them from his home. They had a lead on Mary and were waiting for her to call back, but they had next to nothing on how to find Other Sam. They decided to start by canvassing Sioux Falls, which led them to believe Sam had stolen a car and headed south. 

“You ok?” Sam asked.

“Yeah.” Other Dean kept staring out the window.

Sam shook his head. _Right, sure, ok. Another goddam Dean._ “Look man, I don’t know you and if you’re anything like my brother you’ll want to punch to me in the face for even asking. But you can barely look at me, you’ve said maybe three words since we left Bobby’s. I don’t know --”

“You look like him,” Other Dean interrupted. “You might be a hunter, and a good guy, and hell you even seem to be a pleasant human being. But. You have the face of my demonic, blood drinking brother who tortures me every year for Christmas fun, ok?”

Sam nodded. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. 

“It’s fine man, it’s not your fault.”

They drove in silence for awhile, Other Dean’s phone mercifully ringing to cut the tension. “Bobby? You got anything new? Ok, great, well tell her to answer the damn phone next time.” He hung up and turned back to Sam. “Mom’s one more town over, she apparently headed this way once she got our message.”

 

“Why didn’t she call you back and tell you that?” 

Other Dean laughed. “You clearly haven’t met Mary Winchester,” he said. 

Sam took a slow breath. “No, I haven’t.”

“Dude, I’m sorry, that was a terrible thing to say --”

“It’s ok --”

“No, here I am acting like a moody teenager because you look ---. And I didn’t even think --. I’m sorry Sam, that was a shit thing to say.”

Sam could count on one hand the number of times he’d heard Dean apologize. This guy was something else. Sam shrugged, “It’s ok.”

“Mom isn’t the best at communicating. She uh, she raised me and Sam fine, and she had the whole work life balance thing down, but after we both moved out she got sucked back into hunting full time. And you know how it is with some hunters, they just can’t see past the next demon or ghost or whatever.” Other Dean shrugged. “It’s become our normal. She drops in every now and again, and if it’s really an emergency she comes.”

“Like now?”

Dean nodded. “She tried to reach him, she tried everything short of an exorcism but he’s not really a demon … at least not a full one. She’s still trying but in the meantime, you know how this job can consume some people.”

Sam nodded. He did know. And it sucked. 

Other Dean’s phone rang again. “Mom? Yeah, it’s me. You’ll never believe who’s here too. Long story. Where the hell are you? What? Where?” He covered the mouth of the phone and muttered to Sam. “She has a lead, says we should head for Cold Water Creek.”

“How’d she --”

“No idea.” He uncovered the phone. “Yeah, ok, great, we’ll see you soon.” He tucked the phone back into his pocket. “It’s about an hour from here.” 

“Great, we can make it in 45.”

“I like the way you think Sammy.”

Sam smiled. Other Dean must be feeling more comfortable.

“Hey man, so tell me, what’s the story with Dean?”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s uh, kinda screwed up.”

Sam laughed but didn’t comment.

“No, I’m serious. I spent a few hours with the guy and I just … I don’t get it. What the hell happened to you two? Oh, and also, how is it possible he’s never hooked up with that angel pal of yours? I mean, come on, has he _seen_ Castiel?”

“Have you?” Sam joked, and then immediately regretted saying that, the look on Dean’s face told him more than he wanted to know. “Oh, you didn’t.”

Other Dean shrugged, grinning. “Hey, he broke into my office and told me his name was Steve. How was I supposed to know he was actually, you know, an angel from another reality sent to spy on me who not so secretly is crushing on another me?” 

Sam sighed. 

“Anyway. Spill. What’s Dean’s deal?”

“We were raised on the road, our dad was pretty hard on him. And Dean never got away long enough to see there was another way to live, or that he didn’t need to carry the world on his shoulders. He just, he got stuck, always trying to win Dad’s approval, even though it was impossible.”

“And that’s why he’s still in the closet?”

Sam grinned. “I fucking knew it. Yeah, he was raised to think that’s not what a “man” is, which is total bullshit, but he’s stubborn. When did you come out?”

Dean laughed. “Never did, kinda just kept getting caught with boys and girls, and Mom gave me the talk that as long as it was consensual and safe she could care less who I screwed. It wasn’t like a big a deal or anything.” He smiled. “You shoulda seen him though, when he found out about me and I confronted him on it. I could tell there was someone…I mean, it’s so classic it hurts, guy thinks he’s straight because he’s expected to be, until some gorgeous stranger walks into his life.”

“Or pulls him out of Hell.”

“That would win my heart, just saying.”

The tension between them was finally gone, and they drove the rose of the way talking, swapping stories. Sam was excited to finally have a brother who would say what he was thinking instead of drinking his way through everything. Dean was happy to just be back with Sam (not his Sam, but close enough) and feel something close to the normal they had had before Ruby. 

They pulled into the parking lot of the strip mall Mary had directed them to. Sam pulled in next to the Jeep (the only other car in the lot this late). Mary got out to greet them, along with another woman. Sam and Other Dean climbed out ---

Sam jumped back, he had not expected his mom to pull a knife and aim it at his throat. Other Dean rushed forward to say “Mom, it’s ok, it’s not Sam, well, it is, but it’s not. He’s fine.”

“Who the hell are you?” Mary demanded, not backing down. 

Sam held his hands up in surrender. He glanced behind her, and smiled slightly as he recognized the brunette behind Mary. 

“Mom, it’s fine. It’s Sam from another world, but I swear to you he’s a good guy.” 

Mary stepped back slightly. “Another world?” she demanded. 

Other Dean nodded. “Yeah, long story. Some angel zapped him and another me here. He’s trying to help me save Sam.”

Mary looked at Sam, seeing him for the first time. “Sam?”

Sam smiled weakly. “Hi Mom.”

Mary rushed forward and hugged him. “Um, sorry, I just, haven’t seen my son in a few years,” she said, awkwardly drawing back. 

“It’s ok, I never met you. Well, I guess I did once through time travel, but you didn’t know who I was.” Sam turned to the hunter behind her. _Hi, my name is Sam, I’m from another world,_ he signed. 

Eileen smiled suspiciously at him. _Bullshit._

Mary glanced between them. “You two know each other?”

“In my world,” Sam said. He gave Mary the briefest summary of what had happened since they got to this world. He signed along with speaking, trying to keep Eileen in the loop. 

_We followed a lead on you, other you, here,_ Eileen signed. 

“How’d you find me?”

“Eileen knows a hacker who can find literally anyone,” Mary said. “The question is, what are we gonna do once we find Sam?”

“Well, Bobby Singer, who is _definitely_ a few crayons short of the box, has a panic room perfect for locking up demon blood drug addicts,” Dean said. He waited for Mary to translate that for Eileen. “And we thought if maybe you could come back with us, you and I could finally get Sam sorted out.”

“Dean --” Mary said.

Dean shook his head, interrupting. “No, Mom, come on, this has gone on long enough. We need to bring Sam home, we need to help him. We can’t keep waiting for this to just go away. Please, help me save my brother.”

Mary sighed. 

“Please, Mary,” Sam said quietly. “I went through this, I was addicted demon blood too, and Dean and Bobby, they saved me. But Sam here, he can’t do it, not without some help. Like I had. Please help him.” 

Mary nodded. 

_What did he say about him too?_ Eileen asked. Sam had not translated his words, he knew it was stupid, but he felt embarrassed to tell the doppelganger of the woman he liked back home about his dark past. 

“Sam?” Mary prompted. When he didn’t say anything, she signed to Eileen, _He was addicted too. Apparently got clean._ She turned to her eldest. “Ok, Dean, let’s go get your brother.”

***

They were all crowded into Mary’s Jeep outside a local dive bar. 

“He’s here?” Dean asked incredulously. 

“Apparently,” Mary said. “Ok, this is search and rescue. And it could get ugly in there if there’s lots of civilians. Sam, you and Eileen go around back. Dean and I will take the front. I’m gonna try to convince him to come willingly. If that doesn’t work, move in.”

They disembarked, Sam and Eileen headed around back, creeping in through the kitchen. They stationed themselves around the corner from the main bar area, and Sam could see his doppelganger sitting at the bar looking like five kinds of shit. 

_Are we friends, where you come from?_ Eileen asked.

Sam nodded. He smiled awkwardly. _Yeah._

Eileen did not miss the smile. _Are we something else?_

Sam shrugged. _Sorta. I don’t know. I want us to be. I think I’m just shy about actually making it happen. Sorry, was that weird to tell you?_

Eileen smiled, shaking her head. _When you get home stop being shy._ Sam nodded and she turned her attention back to the bar. 

“Sam?” Mary sat down at the bar on one side while Dean sat on the other. 

Sam gave them a once over. “What is this, an intervention or a family reunion?”

Dean smiled. “Both.” 

“Get the hell away from me, both of you.”

Mary shook her head. “No, we’ve done that too long. It was a mistake. We’re not leaving you.”

“Oh, now you want to help? Well, you’re too late.”

Dean shook his head. “Not the way I hear it. Your more charming clone tells me you were actually making progress.”

Sam sneered at him. “Was that before or after you told me that you couldn’t be in the same room with me until I was cured or fixed or whatever?”

Dean met his gaze. “After. And you know he was right, you were getting better. And I think maybe part of you wants that, Sammy. Because here you are, having a somewhat civilized conversation with us instead of going all demon on our asses.”

Sam said nothing. 

“Sam, I screwed up. I never should have left you,” Mary said. “I’m sorry. But I want to make it right, please, just come home.”

Sam shook his head. “You’re wasting your time. When Ruby gets here --”

“Why wait,” Dean challenged. “You’re a big bad demon, why not take us down yourself?” When Sam said nothing, he continued. “See, man, you don’t want to be a monster. You know that you’re still good inside --”

“Oh, fuck off,” Sam interrupted. “Ruby --”

“Ruby is dead,” Dean said flatly. He pulled out his phone and showed Sam a text from his dopple. _Ruby dead. Cas safe. Heading back to Bobby’s._

Sam stared at the phone. No one spoke. 

“It’s a lie,” Sam finally said quietly. 

Dean shook his head. “It’s not, Sam. She’s gone. You can be free.”

“You can come home,” Mary added, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Sam jumped up, pushing them both away with his demon mojo. The bar’s three other patrons glanced up and then went back to their drinks. 

Mary moved closer to Sam. “Sweetheart, please come home.”

Sam shook his head. “Shut up.”

Dean moved in as well. “Sam, come on, this isn’t you. You’re stronger than all of this.”

Sam shoved them against the bar, but his power wavered. His hands shook. Or maybe it was his resolve. The news that Ruby was gone recontextualized everything -- he was both alone, and also free. 

“Sam,” Dean said, gasping for air against the demon choke hold. “Sammy, please. You can come back, you don’t have to be this thing anymore.”

“Please, Sam,” Mary gasped. 

Sam shook his head, his whole body trembling. “No, how can I ever --”

“I forgive you,” Dean choked out. “I forgive you, Sammy. Just come home.”

Eileen and Sam watched as Other Sam’s resolve crumbled and put his hands up, releasing his brother and mother. They hung back in the shadows, waiting to make sure the situation was diffused. After a long moment between them, Other Sam stood down. 

“She’s really dead?” Other Sam whispered.

Dean nodded. “Yeah, little brother, she’s gone. You’re free.”

“Free to be locked up,” Sam said darkly. 

“Just until that shit is out of your system. We’ll work on it,” Mary said gently. She reached out carefully, wrapping an arm around Sam’s shoulders (well, as high as her arm could reach to his shoulder.) She steered him outside, Dean following. 

_Let’s go,_ Eileen signed. 

Sam nodded, heading for the door as well. He paused, turning to her. _Please don’t judge him too hard, he asked. He’s lost. And kinda a dick. But --_

Eileen reached out to take his hands. _Stop trying to play matchmaker,_ she signed. _But if he turns out to be like you, maybe._ Sam laughed and they headed outside.


	10. Touch Me Please

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas ... the backseat of Baby ... you know how it goes ;)

“Brother, a word?” Castiel asked. 

Cas nodded. He followed himself outside. 

“I should return to Heaven, but I have a feeling you might need my help to return to your world,” Castiel said. 

“Probably. I am not as strong as I used to be.”

“You’re cut off from heaven, causing your grace to dwindle,” Castiel observed. 

Cas nodded. 

“Why did you fall?”

Cas huffed. “We all fell. But to be honest, I had already fallen, even if not literally.”

“Why? What could possibly be important enough --” Castiel followed Cas’s eyes to the house. “You have emotions, feelings for the humans?”

Cas nodded again. “Yes. I was sent here to ensure the Winchesters undertook their destinies, but I ended up rebelling against Heaven. I grew too close to the humans, or at least, that’s what my superiors said.”

“You disagree?”

“I’ve come to realize, over the past few years, that nothing is that simple. And there are tradeoffs in life worth making. For instance, Free Will comes with a price, but it is one I am happy to pay.”

Castiel looked him over. “You are a curious angel, Cas.”

Cas smiled. “I have been told that many times.”

“And what of Dean Winchester?”

Cas narrowed his eyes. “What about him?”

“Surely you can feel his longing,” Castiel said. When Cas said nothing he replied, “I told him you could feel it. That sometimes prayers left unspoken still reach us.”

Cas smiled. “That sounds a lot like emotional investment.”

Castiel shrugged. “I, uh, well --”

Cas clapped him on the shoulder. “There’s hope for you yet.”

***

Dean woke up to see Cas was once again sitting on the edge of his bed and watching him sleep. He no longer started when this happened, but he did glare at the angel.

“Cas --”

“Dean, how are you feeling?” Cas came to sit next to him on the bed. 

“Uh, better. Yeah, I think I’m fine. What about you? How you doing, Cas?”

Cas shrugged. “Physically I feel much better. My strength is restored.”

“Physically?” Dean repeated. “What about, I dunno, mentally?”

Cas sighed. “I had an interesting conversation with my other self. He reminds me of myself before I fell, before I chose y--, uh, humanity over heaven.”

“Humanity, huh?” Dean teased. 

Cas smiled. “I made a choice Dean. It is not a choice I will ever regret.”

Dean glanced down. Cas’s hand was resting right next to him, he could easily reach out and take it. Castiel had told him that angels feel longing, was it possible that Cas felt the million thoughts and feelings that were swirling through Dean’s mind right now? 

“Dean,” Cas said quietly. “The other night, I should have --” He leaned in closer, his eyes on Dean’s lips. Dean’s breath was short and his brain froze as he realized that finally, fucking _finally_ , Cas was going to kiss --

“Dean, get down here!” Sam’s voice startled him. Dean and Cas jumped apart, the moment gone. They got up, heading for the stairs. Dean’s gun was out, safety off; Cas gripped his angel blade in front of him and they rounded into the kitchen --

Gabriel sat at the table, legs stretched out in front of him, a gloating grin on his face. “Hey fellas. How’s your vacation going? Cas, Dean, anything you wanna share?”

Dean glared at him. “So, how’s the whole hunt for Lucifer going?” 

“Not as good as we wanted. Turns out we might actually need your help after all.”

Dean smirked. “Say that again.”

“You heard me the first time.” 

Other Dean entered the kitchen. “New recruit?” 

“This is Gabriel, the angel who sent us here,” Cas explained. 

“Oh, of course. Naturally.” Other Dean poured himself a cup of coffee. 

“I _was_ gonna offer you chuckleheads a ride home,” Gabriel continued. 

“Gabriel, why didn’t you just ask for our help in the first place?” Sam asked. “You know we would have --”

“Yes, yes, I know. Same tune you always play Sam. But you gotta admit, this was kinda fun.”

Something clicked in Dean’s brain. He looked from his doppel (calming drinking coffee and watching all this), to Gabriel, to Cas. And then he noticed the look Other Dean and Cas were trying hard not to share. Dean looked between them. He’d seen that look before. Hell, he’d worn that happily guilty look before. Hang on…

Dean glared at Gabe. “I’ll deal with you in a second.” He rounded on his other self. “You wanna share something?” 

Other Dean looked at Cas. “Did you tell him?”

“Tell me what?”

Other Dean winked, “You know what.” He grabbed his coffee and headed for the living room. 

“Tell me _what,_ Cas?” Dean demanded. 

“Uh, Dean, it is possible that while I was investigating your doppelganger, we may have gone on a date and also made out in the hallway near his office.”

“It’s 'possible'?”

“Highly likely, actually,” Cas added. 

Dean shook his head. “You _kissed_ him?!”

Gabriel chuckled. Sam smirked. Dean shook his head. “I hate you all.” Gabriel was laughing a little too hard. 

“Hang on,” Dean said slowly. “Of all the parallel universes to send us to, hell, of all the places to lock us up while you ass monkeys played around back home -- you sent us _here._ This specific place. You did this on purpose! You knew other me was gay, or bi or whatever. You knew. Was this part of the plan all along?”

Gabriel feigned innocence. “No idea what you’re talking about.”

“Right, sure. So it’s just a coincidence that you --. Wait, and Sam, you sent me to go to his house, you’d been facebook stalking him and suddenly --. You knew too!”

“I figured it out pretty quick” Sam said. “Dean, come on, _no one_ was gonna convince you to come out if you didn’t. I’ve been watching the way you look at Cas for years, oh yeah, including the night we got to sent to this bizarro earth, and I knew the only way you’d accept yourself is if you heard from _yourself_ that it was ok!”

“So you sent me there just to trick me into confessing that I’m in love with my best friend?!” Dean demanded. The words were out of his mouth before he could think better of it. _Oh. Shit._

“You’re in love with me?” Cas said quietly. 

Sam and Gabriel were laughing. Other Dean and Bobby were leaning against the doorway, listening intently. Cas actually looked surprised. All eyes were on him. Fuck fuck fuckety fuck. 

Dean looked around at everyone, and then grabbed Cas’s hand. “Come on.”

“Where?”

“We’re not having this conversation in front of our friends and family. We’re going somewhere and we’re gonna sort it all out. We’re talking about this without any versions of our brothers interrupting us or making jokes. Let’s go.” Dean headed for the door, Cas following, his fingers intertwined with Dean’s. 

Dean ignored the looks and smiles as he dragged Cas outside. He climbed into the junker he’d been borrowing from Bobby, and once Cas was inside, he peeled out of the driveway. They drove down the road, radio blasting, and Cas kept glancing at him like he wasn’t sure if Dean was going to kiss him or stab him. Once they'd passed the ten minute mark from the house Dean finally glanced over at Cas. The angel was watching him carefully.

Now that they were alone, no one walking in on them, the open road giving them some privacy, Dean couldn't think of anything to say. Everything from the past few days was crashing around in his mind. The night snuggled against Cas on the couch, finding out his doppel had been out and happily married, knowing how far Cas had gone to save the other Dean, the feeling of holding Cas against him after rescuing him, and finally, his own admission that he was in love was Cas. Because he was and it was stupid to deny that. 

Dean reached his hand across the front seat, resting it next to Cas -- a gentle invitation. Cas smiled, clasping Dean's hand in his. A peaceful, calming feeling settled over Dean, and he wasn't sure if it was from Cas's grace or just from Cas. 

A few minutes later Dean pulled off onto a side road and parked the car. He turned off the radio. His hands were trembling as he turned towards Cas. 

He still had no words. Their eyes met, and Cas smiled at him, perhaps hoping he would break the silence. Dean's nerve failed him. Everything, all the things he wanted to say, all the things he needed to tell the angel...he couldn't. What if --

"Are you afraid it's a sin?" Cas asked gently. 

Dean shook his head. He'd spent enough time with Chuck to know that God could care less who you love. 

"Are you afraid your brother won't approve?"

Dean shook his head again. He was finding it hard to breathe and his chest threatened to burst with emotion. 

"Are you afraid I'll leave?"

"I -- Cas, I just -- I don't --" 

"I know how much you've lost, Dean. I would never leave you. I promise. Is it true, what you said back at the house?"

Dean nodded. 

"Are you afraid I don't love you?" 

"I'm afraid I'll hurt you." Dean looked at the floor. "People who get close to me die, or I hurt them, or something happens. Cas, I love you, I do. But what if that's not enough?" 

Cas moved closer, gently tilting Dean's chin up. "It's enough for me." 

Cas leaned in, his lips just millimeters from Dean's, waiting, hoping... Dean closed the space between them, pressing their lips together. He felt himself relax as Cas wrapped a hand around the back of his neck, holding him close, Cas's tongue gently exploring his mouth, Cas's body pressing against his. 

"I've wanted to do that for a long time," Cas said, kissing his way along Dean's jaw, his breath warm against his neck. 

"Me too, Cas." Dean let his hands roam along the angel's body, his fingers wandering under the layers of trenchcoat, and shirt. Cas took this as permission to push Dean's jacket and flannel off, his hands running along the hunters bare arms. 

Kissing Cas was everything. It was perfect, incredibly hot, comfortable, safe. Cas gently pushed Dean down, bracing himself over him, and pulling his tshirt up to let his hands run along Dean's chest. Dean sighed in pleasure at the touch, pulling Cas closer. 

"Cas, wait, wait, this is great, but there's more space in the back."

Dean had barely finished speaking when he found himself in the back seat -- same position, his angel above him. His tshirt also now lay mysteriously on the floor.

"Advantages of kissing an angel," Dean joked, but his voice caught as Cas -- taking advantage of his shirtlessness -- descended on his chest, letting his mouth explore and his tongue tease around Dean's nipples. "Oh, Cas," he whispered, "bite me." 

Cas smiled up at him and sucked a mark into Dean's chest. The hunter moaned in pleasure.

Dean grabbed Cas's shirt, yanking him up so he could kiss him again. "I want you," Dean said against his mouth. "I just want you, Cas." 

Cas nodded and then a look of concern passed over his face. 

"What?"

Cas didn't move, but he was clearly thinking intensely about something. "What if you... I don't want to do something you'll regret. I know that these past few days have been weird --"

Dean sat up slightly, cupping Cas's cheek. "I will never regret being with you, ok? I promise. Cas, I want this, I want you."

Cas nodded. He leaned in to kiss Dean once more. How had he never kissed Cas before? How had he never let the angel explore his body in this reverent way?

“Hey, Cas, slow down.” Cas stopped immediately, looking up at Dean. Dean grabbed at Cas’s jacket. “You’re wearing way too many clothes.” The angel obliged as Dean started stripping him. Dean went slow, peeling layers off the angel and planting kisses on his skin. Cas moved his hips against Dean, enjoying the feeling the friction created. He did it again and Dean groaned. 

Dean’s hand trailed down, reaching for Cas’s belt. Cas nodded, pausing to let Dean help him shimmy out of his pants. Dean removed his own pants next, and suddenly it struck him that they were naked on the back seat on Baby, and he really hoped no one drove down this road anytime soon. 

Cas continued kissing him, his hand reaching down to gently stroke Dean. Dean’s body responded, pushing himself up towards Cas, reaching for any part of the angel he could kiss or touch. Dean shuddered as Cas picked up his pace and he fucked harder into Cas’s hand. 

“Cas, please, so good…”

“Dean, touch me please.” Cas gasped as Dean’s hand gripped him. He leaned closer, letting their bodies move together in sync as they moved their hips back and forth. “Dean…” Cas groaned. 

“Harder, baby, please.”

Cas’s motions got harder and faster and Dean knew he was close. Cas’s own breathing quickened, he placed urgent rough kisses on Dean’s lips, neck, chest --

“DEAN!” Cas shuddered as he came, barely holding himself up as he rode out his orgasm. Dean followed, biting Cas’s bottom lip so hard he was surprised he didn’t taste blood. They lay against each other, cradled together for a long moment. 

“Wow, Cas, you were... wow.” Dean’s brain couldn’t really form words. 

Cas smiled, kissing him gently. “Well said,” he teased.

Dean nodded. “It’ll be even better next time when we’re not cramped in the back of a car.”

“Next time?”

Dean felt himself get tense. “Uh, yeah, if that’s ok with you.”

“Of course.”

“Cas?” Dean shifted his head so he could meet the angel’s eyes. “I don’t regret it, I promise. I could never regret being with you.”

Cas smiled, placing a gentle kiss on Dean’s forehead. “Let’s go home.”

“Home.”


	11. No Place Like Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel sends them home, but not before Dean gets a surprise goodbye kiss (sorry, yes, it had to happen), and then we close with some cute fluff.

Dean found Other Dean in the basement, watching his brother through the panic room door. “Hey, we’re heading out. Gabriel says he needs us back home to help re-cage Lucifer.”

Other Dean nodded. “You want a hand, I could --”

“No, man, it’s not your fight.”

Other Dean nodded his head towards the panic room. “This wasn’t your fight, but you still helped a lot.”

“Look, I get it. I do. I would not want to switch places with you. But you’re needed here man. You got a whole life. Go ask someone out, hell, see if Castiel wants to let you corrupt him. Don’t be like me, trying to fix everyone’s problems.”

Other Dean took a step closer. “You know, there’s one thing I’m still wondering.”

Dean smirked. “I bet you are.” 

“I’m just saying, it would be irresponsible of us not to find out.” Other Dean’s eyes darkened in challenge. “Tell me you haven’t been thinking about it.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Of course I thought about it. I’d be an idiot not to.”

“And? You over your whole gay panic?” Other Dean invaded his space, backing Dean into the basement wall. 

“I thought we were bi,” Dean managed to get out. 

“Just testing you.” Other Dean closed the space between them, putting his hands on either side of Dean on the wall, caging him in. “So?”

Dean nodded. He would be lying if he said he hadn’t been wondering what it was like to make out with himself. How often does a person get the chance to find out. He grabbed his doppel by the front of his shirt and yanked him forward. 

Other Dean kissed him. Hard. Rough. He leaned his whole body against him, pinning Dean against the wall. His doppel’s lips were soft, and his tongue licked into Dean’s mouth, sending weird sparks of warmth through him (he’d deal with _those_ confusing feelings later). His hands ran down Dean’s arms and sides, as they ground into each other. 

“Wow, when you come out of the closet, you don’t waste time,” Sam commented wryly.

Dean felt his face go red as Other Dean pulled back and he saw his brother standing there smirking. Cas, right behind Sam, looked a mixture of confused and incredibly turned on. 

“What, like you would pass up the chance to see how well you kiss?” Dean challenged, straightening his shirt.

Sam scoffed. “Yeah, I did. I spent hours alone with my clone and we didn’t kiss once.”

Dean shrugged. “That’s a shame, man. Too late now I guess.”

“Ok, whatever. But it’s time to go home. Unless you two wanna get a room or something.”

Laughing, they all headed back upstairs. Dean came up last, catching Cas’s arm for a moment and saying quietly. “Sorry if that was weird --”

Cas smiled. “Well, _I_ made out with him. Only seems fair.”

Gabriel was waiting for them in the kitchen, the biggest grin on his face. “So, if we’re done with the soap opera drama, it’s time to click your heels together.”

The brothers hugged Mary and Bobby. Castiel exchanged an awkward nod-handshake with them, (and looked mortified when Cas pulled him into a hug). 

“Stay out of trouble,” Other Dean told himself.

“You know us better than that,” Dean retorted. “Take care of yourself man. And thanks.” He stepped beside Cas, taking the angel’s hand in his. “Ok, Gabriel, there’s no place like home.”

Gabe grinned. “Damn right.”

***

They were home. Really, really home this time. Back at the bunker, no weird freaky clones of anyone running around, Lucifer was still out and Gabriel promised to be back in a few days to get their help on that. Dean, Cas and Sam took a collective breath and looked around at each other.

“Shots?” Dean suggested. 

Sam shook his head. “I think you have better ways to spend your evening. And I need to make a call.” He pulled out his phone and started texting, heading for the library.

Dean looked over at Cas, who seemed suddenly uncomfortable with his surroundings. “Cas?” Dean stepped closer, wrapping his arms around the angel’s waist and trying to catch his eyes. “You ok?”

Cas shrugged. “I, uh, yeah --.”

“Cas? Come on, please just talk to me.”

Cas finally looked at him. “I’m scared. Whatever happened --, I mean, wherever we were, the rules were clearly different. But, now that we’re home --.”

“You’re scared I’m having second thoughts?” Dean asked.

Cas nodded. “I’m sorry, Dean, maybe I’m being stupid, but I just --. I mean, I enjoyed our time together, but if you need, I mean, if you want --”

Dean cut him off with a kiss. Cas gasped in surprise and after a second reciprocated the kiss, leaning closer. Dean pulled back first, he traced his fingers along the edge of Cas’s hair. “Cas, it’s not stupid. I have done nothing to show you how much I want to be with you, I’ve held you at arm’s length and made jokes and been stupid. But being in that other world --, I dunno, it showed me who I could be, and I really liked that guy.”

“I noticed,” Cas muttered.

“Yeah, ok, aside from that. I’ve never really thought I had a future, or anything like that. But I saw it, and I want it. And I want it with you.”

“Dean --”

“Cas,” Dean leaned his forehead against Cas’s. “I love you.”

Cas wrapped his arm tightly around the hunter. “I love you too.”

Dean took his hand, and led Cas down the hall to his bedroom. “Stay with me tonight?” he asked quietly. 

Cas squeezed his hand and followed Dean into the room, closing the door behind him. “Every night,” he whispered against Dean’s lips as he kissed him once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read this! It's the first time I've written this long of a fic, and I really loved writing it. Please comment if you have thoughts!


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